So me 20(f) am currently planning a big 21st birthday. My brother and his partner are heavily religious and spend a lot of time pushing their religious values onto me. The worst of which happened when I had two different boys around in the space of a month. They would continuously try to bring up how being with multiple men is bad for your soul and stuff like that. If I am being completely honest they have always been super nice about it in the way they speak to me. They have never put me down or yelled at me, they just don’t accept the decisions I make and feel the need to voice their views as they feel I am ‘not connected to god’ or ‘on the wrong path’. So for my birthday me and my girlfriends want to celebrate, loud music, a bit of drinking and stuff like that and I just know if she is there that I won’t feel comfortable celebrating the way I want to. So this week i told my brother that I wasn’t inviting her and he got really upset and told me that she would never exclude me. I just want to have a night where I can celebrate the way I want. P.S (they are also really against alcohol and stuff like that). Can I have some advice please
NTA for not wanting her there. However, your brother would also NTA if he decided not to attend because you excluded his partner.
It’s your birthday you can celebrate how you want an invite who you want.
If Captain Buzzkill and his partner will ruin the vibe don’t invite them. Simple.
If she doesn’t like the things you will be doing, why does she even want to come? If you are going with girlfriends and it not a “family” party, I probably wouldn’t have even mentioned it. NTA overall, Maybe kind of T A for drawing attention to the fact that you are excluding her instead of just doing your thing.
[Happy birthday, OP!!](https://youtu.be/5qm8PH4xAss?si=uDME33_M3HqWgns6) NTA
Invite her. Hire a stripper.
You’re welcome.
That would be the worst thing but pretty funny comment ngl. Had me laughing
Make sure the stripper is wearing a nun/priest outfit.
“Hey, you wanted me to invite her”
This is TOO MUCH x
NTA. “I wasn’t going to invite her because the party is bottle service and shots at a club. I’ll invite her if you think she wants to come… but I’m not having her come along and tell my friends not to drink or dance with guys. We’re clubbing, not knitting.”
I usually have two birthday celebrations: a quiet one for family and one with my friends (it’s less raucous than it used to be, but still, I don’t want my aunt there). Tell them you’d love to do dinner with them or something, but that you didn’t think she would want to go to this party.
See what he says. See what SHE says about it. And stand firm on the party plans, whether she wants to come along or not.
“she may never exclude me, but that doesn’t give her (or you) the right to constantly judge me for my life/choices/actions. Which i may point out is explicitly condemned in most religions. its not enjoyable to be around people who make me feel like i am less than because i don’t live my life the way THEY choose to.” NTA
She won’t let you have the birthday party you want but because she’s “nice” when she belittles you for doing anything she doesn’t like, you’ll invite her. Girl, they’re nice about trying their best to convert you to their religion!!
You can stop this. If you want to. Tell them not to talk religion at all. Tell them you’ll walk away (& MEAN IT) if they keep trying to convert you. Or, let them keep trying, grit your teeth, give them a biiig grin & bear it!
Your choice. Make it.
NTA
NTA, but you could have handled it differently. Tell them what to expect if THEY choose to attend and you dont want to ever hear a word about it from them.
Now its on them to participate and shut up or stay home.
NTA. Don’t invite either of them. If you want to do something else with your brother and his partner, go for it, but they sound really difficult to be around.
Go to lunch or dinner with your brother and his girlfriend for your birthday. Then have your party with your real friends that night or whenever.