hi, I’m sorry that this post may be a bit all over the place and not so very well written, English isn’t my first language.
my (17f) parents divorced when I was 7, during which they were fighting and screaming at each other all the time.
the divorce led to me having mental health issues which came above ground a few years ago. while getting help from professionals multiple times, my mom kept saying to them during parent-patient conversations that "it is probably just puberty" or "she’s probably exaggerating" with me sitting right next to her. the problem I’m having started there.
lately my mom has been having huge outbursts at me without any reason, or the reason is caused by my siblings but she takes it out on me. during those outbursts she always threatens me that I should go live with my dad and during some of the really heavy fights she calls him and forces me to spend the night. a few hours or the next day after those outbursts she always acts like nothing happened or she stays mad and demands an apology from me. when I do apologise, minutes later she acts like she has never spent a minute being mad at me.
I don’t want to live with my dad. he lives on the other side of the city and my school, work and all my friends are really near my moms.
I still have love for my mom, but after finding stuff out about the divorce and all the fights she’s starting with me I’m starting to hate her more and more. I really want to get away here, but my dad isn’t able to support me how I need support mentally and work and school is way too much of an inconvenience for me to move. moving out of my moms house isn’t an option. living expenses are way to much in comparison to what im making and being underage I need to have my moms permission which im 99% sure she won’t give.
I guess what im getting to here is does anyone have advice for me?
NTA
Do you have a job? If yes, start saving so that when you come of legal age, you can get your own place. If no, get a job ASAP. Also, how do you know your dad cant support you “mentally”? What type of mental support do you need that he cant give?
NTA. Are you able to talk to the professionals without your mother present or knowing that you talked to them? I went through a lot of the same things with my parents growing up, and if they were present when I was talking to the professional, they would have entire speeches prepared for how it wasn’t their fault and that things weren’t that bad. Fortunately, the next time I had a solo session, we would go over what happened and I was able to explain that this was expected behavior from the parents, so I was taught coping mechanisms for dealing with them until I was able to move away soon after turning 18.
Beyond that, start doing as much as you can to prepare to leave. If you trust your dad not to steal from you, open a joint bank account with him so you can get a job and deposit the money into that account as much as possible.
This is a good comment
This is a hard one. You can’t do whit but you can’t do without. I would say stay low and save some $$, and ASAP get out. Your mom could have some mental issues, check with your dad maybe he can help you understand. Good luck.
NTA.
She’s being abusive.