I23F have an extremely strict overbearing father. We were never close and he got full custody of my sister and I. I resented my father, I tried to be out of the house as much as I could. Our biggest downfall was me getting pregnant at 16. I had previously asked to be put on birth control before that. He refused up and down then forced me to be homeschooled during my pregnancy and after, and wouldnt allow for me to work but then constantly complained and shamed me for how he had to financially cover a baby as well. The day I turned 18 I moved in with my mother, and my father and I only speak because my sister.
Anyways my father is exactly the same. He hasn’t changed. My sister is now 15 and had asked about being on birth control which my father told her absolutely not. I had brought it up to him how he probably should let her, it’s safer that way. He went on a whole rant how no because that’s telling her it’s okay to behave like an adult. We got into an argument and I said well your just making the same mistakes over again. He told me to bud out and mind my business and how I have no clue how it is being a single father and I shouldn’t put ideas in my sisters head or interfere. AITA
NTA. Pointing out an obvious fact. If he’s not on board, I would research local options for your sister to find birth control without your father’s consent.
NTA. Your sister can probably get free birth control at Planned Parenthood without your dad’s permission and involvement. I did at 16.
I second this! OP, you can even take your sister to PP to get birth control. She’ll need to have a new patient appointment.
NTA. You are just stating the facts, and he refuses to see it. Saying that it tells her it’s “okay to act like an adult” is bullshit. 16 year olds are gonna “act like an adult” as he put it, regardless of whether or not their parents are okay with it. Whether you prepare them and make sure they’re safe is up to you as a parent. He is failing both of you, and I am glad you at least have your mother.
NTA. He’s a real piece of work. He failed you and he’s going to fail your sister. Find a way to help your sister.
NTA.
Drop the subject, and just take your sister to a doctor. Get her on birth control, ideally something discrete and noninvasive, like the implanon (arm implant). Look up your country’s laws, but 15 is usually old enough for her to give medical consent.
ESH. He sucks more, but the complete lack of accountability you show for getting pregnant at 16 is… something. And then to suggest it would somehow be your dads fault (again) because his daughter got pregnant (again), is… something else.
He’s a jerk in multiple ways, you are not thinking like an adult and apparently haven’t for a long, long time, if ever.
Help your sister. ❤️
NTA. Take her to get an IUD or implant like Nexplanon. It’s her right to be safe.
If you are asking for a logic check, your thinking/logic is correct, you dad is a dud. Good luck! Get a career, save and invest.
Borderline ESH I feel – yes he is absolutely the asshole but like…if you can’t get access to birth control just stop having sex until you can get on it. You absolutely should have access to it and he’s 1000% in the wrong for not letting you or your sister use it however given the fact that you guys are switched on enough to ask for BC you should also exercise some self control and wait until it’s safe to do so (would you drive a car knowing the brakes weren’t fully functional?)
I thought there were ways for kids to get birth control without a parent. Could your mom help at all?
She’s 15! SOCIETY as a whole has already put “ideas” in her head. Just make sure she has access to condoms. If she chooses not to use them, it’s on her.
You tried, OP.
NTA