Ill try to make this as easy as possible. My gf is mad because i was watching the super bowl (im a pats fan) with my guy friends in the living room, and in the next room over my friends wife who just gave birth less than 2 weeks ago carried my belongings upstairs without my knowledge because all the girlfriends were packing up to leave. My gf asked me to pack my stuff up, which i did immediately, but never mentioned we were leaving soon.
My gf proceeds to get mad at me in the car on the way home and called me a boy, and said, “a man would never put a post pregnancy woman in that situation to take care of their shit for them.” Obviously i would have carried my own stuff upstairs if i had known we were trying to leave, but when i tried to explain that to my gf she said i was making excuses as opposed to apologizing. I told her she needs to understand calling a male a “boy” can be viewed as pretty derogatory and she replied, “im sorry you ego was hurt, but if you don’t want to be called a boy, you should act like a man”.
If the girls were all packing up to leave, does that mean your girlfriend watched a postpartum woman pack up stuff? Like…shouldn’t SHE have helped, if she was in a position to?
>because all the girls were packing up to leave
You called her a girl. That makes you a boy, no?
How old are you all? Her reasoning is stupid, but it’s ironic that you call her and her friend “girls” and object to being called a boy.
ESH.
So… she watched her post postpartum friend pack and carry all this stuff while you weren’t around and have the nerve to bitch at you?!
WTF is wrong with your girlfriend because it sounds to me like she failed and is blaming you for her being a shitty friend.
NTA but your girlfriend is
ESH. Yes, she could have communicated the situation better, but if you’re referring to them as ‘girls’, than its hypocritical to get upset at her referring to you as a ‘boy’
>because all the girls were packing up to leave
This is the key right here, because
1. Everyone was packing up **to leave**. But then you claim you didn’t realize you were getting ready to leave?
2. **You just referred to the women as ‘girls.’ You don’t get to turn around and lecture your gf about how it’s disrespectful to call men ‘boys’ when you literally do the same thing to women.**
YTA
NTA, although you refer to the women in the other room as “girls”, this is a common term and I don’t think you are saying that in an insulting way.
Someone else packed up your stuff and moved it without your knowledge. How is that your fault? Your girlfriend needs to get off her high horse and acknowledge the fact she seems to watch a newly postbpartum woman carry stuff up stairs. Plus questioning your manhood was out of line here
How long have yall been dating? Let this be a real eye opener for the both of yall. I agree with other comments. I honestly would be reconsidering the whole relationship of this happened to me.
5 years lmao.
NTA but being called a boy is not derogatory lmao
YTA as well as whomeever invited everyone over for the game. All the women were packing up, your girlfriend told you to get your things, and you left it unattended to the point that the freshly postpartum hostess moved it for you. That poor woman probably wanted to go to bed and y’all were just not getting the hint. You may not like the term “boy” but this situation reeks of a child getting distracted at a party/playdate and ignoring their parents whom are waiting and/or calling them to leave. You should definitely approach your friend’s wife to apologize for potentially overstaying your welcome/not leaving fast enough.
NTA. I’m a woman and also watch football. I’m a Seahawks fan so sorry for your loss. You’re in a different room. You’re out with your girlfriend watching your team play in a super bowl. She needs to take accountability for you and your things if the hostess needed things moved then she should have done it and or said to you. Hey we’re leaving soon i need you to help. Do not take this woman to important events that mean things to you. She could have taken on the task of moving your things as a true woman would for her man.
Ok I am so confused u keep saying upstairs like were yall in the basement or something?? Also definitely agree with other people, I get ur being general by referring to the women as girls (just go w ladies) and not trying to be insulting but it can still be referred as an insult. Yes ik that wasn’t the intent and ur gf was insulting u but still maybe instead of fighting about who’s wrong or right just acknowledge that referring to women as girls can be insulting and don’t do it again (this is not helping ur case btw). And dude srsly why would u leave ur to-go-plate lying around? Or is it that u were waiting to leave to pack a to-go-plate, got distracted, didn’t think to pack it beforehand and just ended up putting it on the back burner for later? That’s messed up either way that a postpartum lady has to pick up after you because you got distracted by a game which is exactly the point ur gf is trying to make. And instead of acknowledging that that was pretty messed up, ur arguing with ur gf about how calling a man a boy is emasculating. All the while still referring to women as girls and arguing about the intent behind the words rather than just accepting that those words are just plain demeaning. I’m sorry are I seeing the pattern here? Or do u need more context clues?? Def changing my vote as I write this: YTA. Go apologize to ur gf and that poor lady and act like the Man U say u are.
NTA The context is important here. She called you a “boy” specifically to differentiate from you being a man. It’s an insult and was clearly meant as an insult. You saying “the girls were packing up” would be the equivalent of someone saying “the boys were watching the game.”