I had a hair appointment today and wanted to change things up. I’ve had the same blonde balayage for years, and someone in my life has never seemed very excited about it when I come home from the salon. They’ve always said they prefer darker hair.
So today, I went for a copper vibe (very on-trend right now) and parted ways with my blonde. I LOVE it. My stylist absolutely nailed it.
I came home and was met with immediate annoyance. Nothing outright mean was said, just a confused, “Why did you do that?” I mentioned that they’ve said before they don’t love blonde. The response: “I don’t mind the blonde you had.” Then they walked into another room and didn’t say much else.
I don’t need a parade or dramatic reaction… but AITA for changing my hair without announcing it beforehand and hoping for a simple, “You look great”?
Important context: I trade services with my stylist, so this didn’t cost anything.
NTA- do whatever hair colours you want. But do it for you. Doing it for others expectations sets yourself up for defeat.
It appears you did this to satisfy somebody else’s wants, which while selfless backfired because you appear to have not been sure what they did want.
On a side note I’m sure it looks great.
The important thing is that you love it. If there’s someone in your life who doesn’t support that, then maybe they need to have less access to you. People who are annoyed about something that has nothing to do with them and can’t just be happy for someone are exhausting.
INFO: 1. Did you change the color for yourself or for your partner? 2. Why are you being so weird just saying its s your partner/bf/gf/spouse etc? — unless you change your hair color for someone who isn’t your partner??
Also I’m curious why would it be important context that you traded services? Not sure how you compensated the hair stylist comes into this
Not really sure why you would ever think you’d be an asshole for doing what you want to do with YOUR hair ….
NTA
Your partner is being an AH. Your hair doesn’t exist for their pleasure. They are not negatively impacted because you went copper. They should have just said some nice platitude, not been weird and try to make it about them.
Anywhere else they have weird entitlement to your body? I hope not
Your question concerns me a little. You owe NO ONE advance warning or approval of decisions about your hair.
If you want your spouse’s input on which way to go, that’s fine, but that’s your choice. No adult should feel they’ve done something wrong by changing their hair color.
So your husband being *annoyed* with your hair color is out of line in addition to being rude and insensitive.
And more concerning is you questioning your decision because of his reaction. If a partner of mine did things like say “why did you do that?” and leave the room in response to my own style choice, they wouldn’t be my partner for long.
NTA. All that matters is that you like it.
You aren’t the a hole and now I’m considering doing it too sounds really cute
NTA
I’m so sorry your parade was pissed on but that says more about the pisser than it does you. You love it, that’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone’s negativity and poo pooing take away that bounce in your step that you get from feeling great. Good on you for doing something for you!
NTA. I had no idea an election was required for hair color.
You didn’t do anything wrong I’m sure you’re fine