I (19 F) was in my college’s student union waiting for my food with my friends. I saw a girl wearing a sweater that was almost identical to mine (also waiting for her food, she was alone). I went up to her and I was like "omg we’re wearing the same sweater haha", she just bluntly was like "it’s my boyfriends." Me being me I tried to continue the conversation by complimenting her and asked her if she knew where her bf got the sweater from and tried to laugh it off saying "it’s so great knowing I have the same style as a guy." Again she was not entertained, so I just took my cue and said bye and left.
I found out through friends a couple days later that she’s in the same sorority as them (she knows me somehow?), and was talking shit about me through that 1 interaction we had.
Apparently "I wanted her bf" ( I don’t know them). I thought the whole situation was kind of funny (our actual conversation, and her gossiping about me after) lmao. I kind of want to confront her because she’s clearly got the wrong idea, and gossiping about me. But anyways, AITA for trying to bond with a girl when we’re wearing the same sweater?
NTA
She sounds like a…bullet you dodged.
NTA maybe a bit awkward but thats normal for everyone to be awkward sometimes. It does sound like she was being pretty judgy though
NTA. I don’t think trying to approach her again to straighten this out is a good idea. You’ll just give her more to make up gossip about. Unfortunately, we can’t control what other people say about us, best to steer clear of this person.
NTA but I wouldn’t confront her or anything. Just correct the rumors when you hear them and move on. You can’t please everyone and confronting everyone who gets under your skin is a fast way to a difficult life.
Nah, I wouldn’t even correct it. Just a “who? I don’t think I know her/him”. You can live rent free in their heads while you just continue on with your life and awesome sweater
I get the urge but trust me correcting it will be more effective. If you “pretend” you don’t know what is going on then the other side will believe you really were after the boyfriend. That’s how the human brain works and I understand the human brain.
I work PR and I have to deal with people like this girl all the time. The best move is kill them with kindness and point out just one untrue thing.
“Oh, no! I can’t believe that she thought I was after her boyfriend. I actually didn’t know she had a boyfriend. I honestly just wanted to be friends with her. Well, that was my mistake. I’ll be more careful in the future.”
Do you know how many times I have responded like that when someone talked behind my back professionally? The last time the person who was talking sh\*\* got so humiliated she quit when others told her “how bad” I felt that she would misunderstand my actions. The time before I utilized it for my client. The person who published the OP against my client watched as her OP piece became a huge stepping point for success with my client.
Pretending the conflict didn’t happen is just another form of conflict avoidance and people tend to see it as a admittance of guilt often.
NTA. The conclusion she drew from that is absolutely wild. I don’t think you should talk to her again because she’s likely to twist it into something terrible.
Got to make friends somehow. Once I was at my usual round top in the caf and everyone got up to get food except me and guy I didn’t know. We started small talk and it turned out his GF was from my hometown. And that she was my recent ex-GF. Awkward. No bad blood between us. Just didn’t have time for two GF and p-chem. Only time I ever dated two women at the same time. Just my luck the other woman broken up with me shortly thereafter. NTA.
Don’t let the dear of occasionally being awkward get in the way of being friendly. Id find the interaction fun, and would be happy to chat to someone wearing the same sweater nta.
Confrontation her will not go the way you hope it goes in your head, I csn promise you that.
NTA
She’s apparently not from an area that does small talk. It obviously freaked her out. Don’t stress about it, and ignore her if you see her again. If it’s mentioned just laugh say you were in line and bored, and just passing time.
Parts of the US is very much open to talking to complete strangers while waiting in lines or at events, if the stranger isn’t creepy, flirting, or saying weird crap. I even lived in a city briefly where people randomly sat at occupied tables in restaurants and just started talking. That freaked me out at first, until I realized it was that cities normal.
Trick is when striking up conversations is watching for cues that the person isn’t open to talking, isn’t friendly, and especially is uncomfortable. Also when a subject like the sweater is shut down, drop it. Try a new subject or leave the person alone.