I (23F) have been with my bf (22M) for over 4 years. He has lived with me for just over a year and we are preparing to move to a different rental soon. We were at his parents house this last weekend and were talking about the move with his parents. They joked that maybe he would finally finish moving out of their house. He left behind his childhood memory boxes and some tools/car parts. I asked his mom if she knew where his memory boxes were and if I could get them out to go through. (This isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned wanting to go through them). She said yes and told me where they were. I got them out and went through one but didn’t get to go through everything before we left. I took them home and no one said a thing. The next evening I got a message from my bf’s mom asking that we don’t throw out any of the items as they are sentimental to her and she really wants to go through them herself. I assured her I had no intention of getting rid of anything and offered to bring the items back after I went through it all. She said she did want me to bring it back. I thought it was odd that she suddenly wanted it all back after joking about him leaving it behind and she’s had a year since he moved out to go through it. My bf says that I should’ve asked to bring it home as it was actually more his mom’s than it is his and he doesn’t want any of it. I had no problem taking it back to her, but AITAH for taking it in the first place?
YTA. It was more your BFs place to ask for them if he really wanted them. I think you asking put her in an awkward position.
However I really don’t understand why you thought you had to go through the boxes at all. The things in those boxes have nothing to do with you. I could understand if you were there when one of them went through the box but how wou you even knew the meanings behind the items.
Edited. I didn’t realize that you didn’t ask permission to take the boxes home. This makes you a major asshole. You even said in your post that she jokingly talked about when he would move his items out so you knew she really didn’t want them gone. This makes it very weird that you took items that didn’t belong to you in any way shape or form.
YTA that really wasn’t your place and it was really intrusive. Memory boxes are very personal and private doesn’t matter that you’ve been together four years. That’s a mother child thing you should not have taken them and you shouldn’t be going through them. It’s one thing if they wanted to show them to you and tell you about the pieces in them, but that’s not something that someone just rifles through. Learned some boundaries.
YTA. Wasn’t your place to take them. And definitely overstepping if you went through them.
YTA
>” I got them out and went through one but didn’t get to go through everything”
These are not YOUR boxes to go through. Unless your BF gave you his explicit consent to go through his belongings, that’s an invasion of privacy. Moms always joke about their kids living shit in their childhood home – that wasn’t code word for “Please take it”, especially when it wasn’t YOURS to take in the first place.
I don’t think OP was the ahole for going through them, it sounds/seems like BF was there when OP asked to go through them and didn’t object.
I think OP was an ahole for taking them home without explicitly asking. OP had permission to go through the boxes not to take them home.
YTA. They aren’t your boxes. Why did you want to go through them?
Sounds like a miscommunication but it’s a general rule to ask, isn’t it? Best to confirm instead of assuming, especially for personal things that aren’t yours.
You weren’t an AH.
But I would say you are in the wrong here. You asked to look at and go through the boxes, not take them home.
She probably didn’t say anything when you left with them because she didn’t want to cause an issue or scene. So she just messaged you after and asked to. It throw them out and bring them back when you are done.
It mostly just sounds like simple confusion/miscommunication. Honestly the worst part about this is having to bring it to Reddit to ask people online for an answer over an obvious and simple question/solution.
People really need to learn to deal with their issues without airing your dirty laundry out to millions of strangers
YTA
Mum wanted rid of the tools and the car parts, not the memory boxes, which are (in my experience at least), usually things mums start off when their kids are babies.
This wasn’t your place, and even if it was, you absolutely should have asked.
YTA – not for looking at them which is totally fine, but for taking items from someone’s home without asking.
YTA
Pretty presumptuous of you, actually. Give it back, intact.
YTA. You don’t just help yourself to things from someone’s house without asking for permission. That’s called stealing.
Yes. They are his. you needed to ask him.