so i (26f) had my friend (27m) watch my place and my cat for the weekend. i told him he could "help himself to whatever" in the kitchen which i thought was just like… common sense for snacks and stuff?
i get back and realize he opened this $120 bottle of vintage barolo i was saving for my promotion. he literally drank the whole thing alone while watching netflix. when i asked him about it he got all weird and said i "gave him permission" bc the wine was in the kitchen. like okay but who drinks a hundred dollar bottle of wine without asking first???
i sent him a venmo for $80 (gave him a discount lol) and now hes calling me tacky and told our group chat im a bad host. i feel like there’s literally an unwritten rule of guest logic where u dont touch the most expensive thing in the house. if i tell u to help yourself to my garage it doesnt mean u can just drive off in my car??
idk am i the asshole here? he’s making me feel like im being extra but i feel like he totally took advantage of me… idk it’s also just $120
Did you leave a price tag on it? Where was the wine? How was he supposed to know it was an expensive bottle?
Edit: I’ve just had a google and there is nothing about that wine bottle that says $100+. So unless you told him it was expensive then YTA.
Sorry, but YTA You told him him to help himself to “whatever”, so he did. It’s possible he didn’t know that it wasn’t a $20 bottle of wine. But even if he did know what he was opening, you didn’t specify that. “Whatever” is really open ended. Live & learn, next time you’ll either be specific or you’ll put the stuff you don’t want touched away.
YTA – Expensive and cheap bottles of wine look the same to people who don’t know wine. Be more precise in your instructions for the person doing you a favor. He assumed that you only have cheap bottles of wine because you cavalierly said to help himself. This is tacky.
buddy probably thought he was doing a solid by chilling with the cat all evening instead of just feeding and watering and leaving. and then this. lol. who are these people who expect everyone to know what wine is worth?!?
Also, isn’t it hosting 101 to put shit you don’t want guests to see/use away, especially if the phrase “help yourself” is being said? I put my toddler’s favorite toys (that she does NOT share well at all!) in her crib for playdates just to make sure nobody finds them 😅
It’s not unreasonable to expect people not to drink expensive wine, IF they know it’s expensive, IF they know you were saving it and IF you asked them not to. But you didn’t. The wine was in the kitchen, you didn’t tell them not to drink it and you DID tell them to help themselves to whatever was there. This is 100% on you and you’re out of line for trying to make the person who did you a favor pay you. YTA.
YTA. You should just chalk this up to miscommunication. You said help yourself to anything in the kitchen. If you had told him prior, “except for that bottle of wine I’m saving for my promotion,” you could ask for full compensation. This is on you. Swallow your ego and let this go, my dude. It’ll be better for the friendship.
Yeah think ur right..
I think if you delete the Venmo request and say “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear and that I blamed you for that, I really appreciate the huge favor and hope we can move past this as friends!” It should be salvageable tbh! Live and learn etc
YTA: You said to help himself. I would have assumed that also included drinks.
How would he know that bottle was special or worth $120? I feel like that is on you to communicate, when you let someone help themselves to your kitchen.
You told him to help himself to whatever. He did.
Most people can’t distinguish between a $15 and $120 bottle of wine, and most people aren’t going to read a receipt you left lying around either.
YTA, this one’s on you.
I’m inclined to say YTA. You told him to “help yourself to whatever” in the kitchen, the wine was in the kitchen, and you did not clarify that anything was off-limits. Unless he’s a wine guy, I’m not sure how he would know it was a $120 bottle of wine.
>so i (26f) had my friend (27m) watch my place and my cat for the weekend.
So you asked him to do you a favor. He obliged.
> i told him he could “help himself to whatever” in the kitchen
And gave him permission to grab anything from the kitchen.
>i get back and realize he opened this $120 bottle of vintage barolo i was saving for my promotion. he literally drank the whole thing alone while watching netflix. when i asked him about it he got all weird and said i “gave him permission” bc the wine was in the kitchen. like okay but who drinks a hundred dollar bottle of wine without asking first???
So the issue is really,
“I expected him to read my mind and know that I meant help yourself to anything, except the bottle of wine which I didn’t tell him I was saving for an event and that cost over $100”
YTA.
1. What do you mean who drinks a bottle of wine without asking first. He didn’t need to ask because you said help yourself to whatever.
YTA
2. It would have cost that much to pay someone to house sit. Perhaps instead of Venmoing a request you should have bought him another bottle if he likes it.
YTA and tacky and a bad host.