I (31M) have a younger sister "Charlee" (15F). Her father isn’t around, and she has a strained relationship with our mother (it’s complicated). So while I don’t have legal custody of her, Charlee spends a lot of her time with my fiancé and I. We are unofficially raising her because somebody’s got to.
Charlee was going to a school dance recently with a "boy who’s totally just her friend". When he came to pick her up, I gave them both instructions – she was to text me when they got to the dance, text me when she was on her way home, and be home by 10:30.
She didn’t seem bothered at the time…but when she came home she was LIVID. Apparently I embarassed her by giving a curfew in front of this boy, and nobody else her age has a curfew (according to her). She says that she’s 15 and can make her own decisions, and that I need to stay out of her business.
AITA for giving a curfew to a 15 year old?
NTA. Bad things can happen to 15 year olds who think they know more than adults. Other 15 year old have curfews…
NTA. If she wants you to stay out of her business, she can move back in with your mom.
NTA: kids need boundaries and 10:30 is a super reasonable curfew for a 15 yr old
Honestly just thank you for being there for her, must be hard
You’d be a negligent “mom” if you didn’t do as you did. Every 15 year old claims no one else has rules. It’s a rite of passage. Stick to your guns and she’ll thank you some day.
Nta
“A” curfew? Not TA at all.
That said, 10:30 is pretty early for a school dance. Especially if it’s common for kids to go out after to grab a slice or a burger or something.
Also, I’m pretty sure MOST of the other kids at the dance had a curfew as well, but it was probably a bit later and wasn’t discussed in front of others.
NTA: but a good learning experience for you as her… caretaker?
NTA. She probably just wants to seem extra cool in front of the “boy who’s totally just her friend”
NTA 15 year olds need boundaries and 10:30 seems reasonable for a school dance
Not saying your the ah but:
You could have handled it differently. You should have spoken with her alone. The crap in front of the boy was unnecessary and embarrassing to her and the boy! You screwed up!
NTA.
A 15 year old definitely needs a curfew. In general, 10:30 on weekends sounds pretty reasonable at that age.
For specific events, like a school dance, it might be flexible, like up to 90 minutes after the event ends, if the kids want to get something to eat after, but with a requirement that they not go anywhere you didn’t previously approve.
And it’s never a bad thing for a kid’s friends to know that there’s an adult who will notice if they are late, especially when it’s a mixed gender group.
NTA. Good on you for stepping in to take care of your sister.
ETA: probably shouldn’t have talked about the curfew in front of the date though.
I’m lucky to be alive after some of my teenage decisions. Btw they secretly respect rules. Just tell her it’s b/c you care.
NTA. Teenagers gonna teenager.
NTA. Giving a curfew to a 15-year-old is pretty standard no matter what she might think.