Hello, I (late-20s M) recently moved in with my Dad and step-Mom (both mid-50s) in Virginia when we were hit with a pretty bad snowstorm. We live in the sticks with a long gravel driveway, making shoveling more likely to pepper the lawn with gravel and damage the shovels than letting it melt.
In front of the garage there is a particularly bad patch of ice/snow which is about 2-3 inches thick which we’ve had to carefully traverse while getting in or out to the cars. After nearly slipping on it and after over a week of it being there, I decided to get the sledge hammer and stamping it down to break up the top layer of ice. I figure throwing aside the chunks will make it easier for the snow to melt in the morning. (Again, this is a gravel driveway so I figure this is fine, please inform me if I am wrong.)
My Dad came out and said that I should just wait until morning and go at it with a shovel since it is just going to refreeze anyway once I finished. I explained that I wanted to clear off the thick top layer to help it melt faster when the sun comes up since it was still a few inches thick. He got frustrated, threw his hands up saying "\[he\] must be a f-ing idiot" and slammed the door behind him.
I feel bad for upsetting him but I am having trouble seeing his perspective on things regarding how to handle the ice. AITA for not following his advice?
For further clarification, this was at 8pm.
NTA: you were trying to make the driveway safer. even if your dad’s way is better, who cares? you’re doing a good deed
At least he didn’t go out there to break it up barefoot in the snow. His dad kinda jumped him on this like a xenomorph in a hedge maze. Glad his wife could sleep soundly with all the racket outside. Maybe OP can find some reprieve in an 85 degree shed away from the situation.
There are several levels here so. One, gravel driveways can be cleared just like any other driveway by shoveling or a PROPERLY adjusted snowblower. Shoveling snow and digging a trench are very different actions so shoveling snow doesn’t “pepper” anything, you are clearing snow. Your statements about sledge hammer, “stamping it down” and “throwing aside the chunks will make it easier to melt” makes very little sense. You use a sledge hammer to break up ice but 2-3 inches of ice don’t require a SH. Your whole family may need some guidance on proper maintenance but I’m not sure here.
NTA. If the ice is already frozen, there is nothing to refreeze. Dad needs to take a chill pill or get his anger out with the shovel right along side you.
Maybe when you’re living with someone else you do things their way? Basic consideration says he didn’t want you doing that, so don’t do it.
YTA.
That’s not what’s happening. OP isn’t understanding what the father means, which is extremely simple, therefore the dad is frustrated at how simple the sons brain works
You’re both wrong. You don’t clear the driveway first thing in the AM. You wait until the afternoon, around 2PM. That’s when the sun is the warmest. I’ve lived in snowy climates for a lot of my life. It’s just like knowing to only go over snowy mountain passes in the mid afternoon.
I can’t say that either one is TA, because you just didn’t know that.