For context, my dad constantly nags that I don’t make food for my brother because he believes "sharing is caring." My brother doesn’t know how to cook, locks himself in his room, and barely takes a step outside of it. I go to the gym and am fairly active, I’m careful of what I eat and measure most of it and he expects me to SHARE. My brother never comes to the dinner table, and only comes out to get food when called. There is also PLENTY of food at the house and we leave some of the food we cooked but for him when he doesn’t come out but he never eats it. My dad wants ME to teach him how to cook, but he never steps out of his room to learn how and I’m rarely ever home. Am I the problem?? I ask him to do things with me all the time but he just says no and falls back into his room.
Nta. This expectation sounds absurd.
It sounds possible that your brother may be suffering from depression. I would say forget this food situation for the moment and just try to talk to him and see if you can’t get him to open up a little bit
NTA You cannot help someone who refuses to help himself. You cannot teach someone to cook when he stays in his bedroom all the time.
Your brother may be depressed and you might be able to help himself find therapy but he has to be willing.
As for making him food, you can do that sometimes but doing it all the time just seems to be enabling him to remain in his depression. He has to be willing to help himself.
If it’s anyone’s responsibility to teach him how to cook, it’s your dad’s.
Why didn’t his parents raise him
NTA First, you are not his parent, it is not your responsibility. It doesn’t seem like he WANTS to eat what you make or let alone learn how to cook himself. Has your dad try to talk to him? Has he witnessed his lifestyle? Maybe ask your brother to talk to your dad, it might help him back off a bit.
NTA
Dad can teach brother how to cook or h can go hungry.
Suggest he get screened for depression. He needs help, and Dad needs to step up and provide it.
Not your job to cook for him. Not your job to teach him to cook. Not your job to coax him out of his room.
It sounds like your dad wants you to do some parenting that should have happened more than 8 years ago, before your brother reached adulthood.
NTA
Your dad is trying to make you be your brother’s parent. You aren’t equipped to parent your brother, be a counselor your brother, or be a doctor to your brother. He needs all three. and your dad is the one who should be handling all three. Tell him this. And stand firm.
NTA sounds like dad wants you to be the parent. That’s not appropriate.
Your brother may be lazy, he may have depression, either way you’re not his parent. If your dad wants your brother to learn how to cook then he can teach him. He SHOULD teach him. NTA