A year ago my coworker and I were promoted into the same level role but managing different programs. Our boss recently gave us a short-notice budget proposal and told us to collaborate in a shared cloud document.
They’re territorial about anything related to “their” program and will basically "scold" me if I even do small errands like purchase materials, file information, write emails, or just anything related to "their" program. We are supposed to be crossed trained and able to run the other program.
During the two weeks we worked on the proposal, they made a separate document and emailed it instead of adding their ideas into the shared file. Our boss redirected and said everything had to be in one place.
Right before the deadline our boss added another section geared toward my coworker’s program. Again, they created a separate document and emailed. We had 48 hours left so I added my ideas. The next day I noticed their ideas still werent listed. After my meeting with our boss I went to find them since we only had 30 more minutes before it was due the next morning. They were gone so I rushed to my desk to discover that they still hadn’t added their ideas. I added the info from the document they had previously emailed and used AI to combine and condense everything.
An hour before it was due, they called telling me to "get out of the document" so they could work on it. We argued but agreed to split sections. After I added my edits I scrolled to the 2nd section and realized every single one of my ideas had been deleted. one answer I wrote was replaced with “NA.” I called them (twice) and when I asked why they removed all my ideas, they said my sentences didn’t make sense and the info I added was irrelevant. Mind you, they kept the AI sentence structure, word for word, but removed my ideas.
During our team meeting I brought this up and explained how every time we work together my ideas get completely erased or I’m flat out told my ideas and sentences don’t make sense. I said it was becoming a pattern and that I was offended.
They claimed I overstepped and had no right to add their ideas on their behalf. They said they didn’t feel like they could work on the shared document because I had it open all day and that I had gone over the word limit.
They said that they had looked for me all day before it was due and went to my office. They said they left me a voice message and an email. I obviously didn’t see the email until after the fact. the email said "I’ve added my ideas wherever possible." it said nothing about trying to collaborate or ANYTHING. I also didn’t have a voice message on my desk phone, work cell, or personal cell.
I was in my office ALL day except for when I had an hour long meeting with our boss. The meeting time is listed on our SHARED calendars.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? Are these micro aggressions directed at me because they think I’m not competent.
Yta
Sorry stay in your lane you aren’t their parent and you don’t need to help
It was a shared assignment so I would get in trouble if it wasn’t finished. At that point they hadn’t communicated anything to me. We were both supposed to add our ideas per the instructions.
Then they were the one not sharing the assignment.
It’s different if you had both worked together the entire time then you realise they hadn’t saved their stuff, THEN you can add theirs in to save their skin.
Otherwise if they’ve expressly stayed separate the entire time you make sure yours is done. You won’t get in trouble for not single handedly completing a shared task.
If asked why there is nothing from the other person you state you had been sharing your part of the task but were struggling to get co operation and you were not aware of their final contribution to help submit it at the end. Basically a diplomatic way of saying they were an arrogant fuck the entire time but you didn’t want your own work to suffer.
I’d give this a tentative NTA. I would say ESH but I think you’re maybe just a bit unsure of what was expected of you. That’s on your boss for not ensuring you understood your limitations and responsibilities in the assignment.
Yea in this situation YTA.
‘The next day I noticed their ideas still werent listed. After my meeting with our boss I went to find them since we only had 30 more minutes before it was due the next morning. They were gone so I rushed to my desk to discover that they still hadn’t added their ideas. I added the info from the document they had previously emailed and used AI to combine and condense everything.’
This was an overstep. If they haven’t added their ideas in, that’s their problem. Not yours.
I’m unclear if they deleted your work from their section or from your own. If you were over the word limit, I can see why they’d delete things.
There were no separate sections. The instructions were to add ideas from each person. Basically if I hadn’t put anything I would also get in trouble for not completing the assignment on time. The entire thing was a shared assignment. I wasn’t over the word limit, it was just at capacity so they completely stripped the sentences of my ideas and only left theirs. In one section they erased everything and left it blank because they didn’t believe it was relevant to our situation. Each section stated for us to add 2-4 sentences each.
NTA but you should go about this with a level of calm, happy, ignorance instead of attacking your coworker outright.
Go with thinks like “I was trying to help, I thought compiling your ideas into the shared file was what boss wanted” “hmm, looks like my ideas somehow got deleted! Let my try and track changes / restore previous versions”
And let the boss handle their inability to teamwork.
Honestly, I tried stuff like this in the beginning and I will try again. But this has been a repeated thing, except this was the first time I added stuff on their behalf, usually they just delete my information and put theirs in.
Basically our boss will reprimand us both no matter who was at fault. So I always end up getting yelled at. It’s been an entire year of this.
ESH.
You suck because you’re trying to do everyone’s job. You add what you need/can add to the document. Your co-worker does the same. If the co-worker can’t follow directions, that’s on the manager to manage.
Your co-worker sucks for putting things to the last minute. They may do this so they have more control over what’s there at the deadline, as is obvious since they deleted your work. That’s why it’s in Docs, to track those types of changes.
Your boss sucks for making you think you’ll be in trouble if you don’t do others’ work.
This is probably the best response so far. This was the one time I stood up for myself over this past year. I definitely wasn’t nice about it. I knew I shouldn’t have taken this job 😭
Yta – don’t use AI to shirk doing your work properly