I (23F) started dating my boyfriend (22M) a few months ago. He naturally became a big part of my life, and we spend a lot of time together.
I live with my roommate/best friend (20M). For months before I started dating, he was financially dependent on me. I regularly covered rent, bills, and other expenses, sometimes causing my bank account to go negative. If I hesitated, he would make me feel guilty.
Once I started dating my boyfriend, I stopped covering everything and began saving to move out in February. That’s when tensions started. He said I wasn’t prioritizing him and spent too much time with my boyfriend. I tried making plans to hang out, but most of the time he just wanted to sit on the couch gaming or reading and didn’t engage much. When I tried to talk about what was bothering him, he would say I should “just know” what he was thinking and that I was wrong without explaining. I told him I felt used financially, but I understand he might feel I’m abandoning the friendship by spending more time with my boyfriend.
We also work in the same district (I’m a substitute). One day I completed all required steps for a job, got my badge, returned it, and marked for teacher’s aide pay, but he accused me of messing it up and claimed it affected another teacher. (The school told him that I didn’t do all of that stuff). I have proof I followed all instructions. Some of the teachers didn’t believe me, which has affected my opportunities. I understand he sees things differently and may have felt I made a mistake.
During one argument, my boyfriend was present. My roommate had a severe emotional outburst that escalated the situation and scared everyone in the house. Since then, he hasn’t spoken to me, so I don’t know much of his side of the story.
He’s now soft-kicking me out and holding housing and money over my head. He says that because he “pays for everything,” I can’t have people over and I can’t use anything in the house, even though I’ve paid half the rent and most of the bills. His mom asked for my house key and claimed I agreed to a move-out date I never set. I said I will give it back when I move out. I understand he might feel frustrated or disrespected by my choices, but I also feel I’m protecting myself.
I feel like things escalated once I stopped financially supporting him and started saving to leave. AITA for pulling back financially, spending more time with my boyfriend, and keeping my house key until I move out?
This makes no sense. You glossed over the job situation so much that there’s clearly a ton of context missing. This is written so much to try and skew it your way from beginning to end that it’s piecemeal. Because it’s not trustworthy, YTA.
NTA, he’s acting out because his cash cow is leaving him. Get a storage unit for now so he and his mom can’t damage your things and then get out of there as soon as you can.
He’s behaving like a spoiled child. And the fact that his mommy stepped in reinforces that. He is absolutely using you. NTA