I (25F) recently got married to my (25M) husband in Bali, Indonesia in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Each plane ticket was about $2000 USD and hotel was maybe about $150-300 for a week. My friend “Gemma” brought along her newly wed husband “John” along but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding. Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room and when I asked her why she didn’t show up she said that since they couldn’t afford their own honeymoon that this was a perfect opportunity and that Jim decided that he didn’t feel like going. I was really hurt by this since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years. WIBTA if I took her to small claims court for the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?
You are not an asshole. Your friend is the asshole here.
But… I can’t see you winning any sort of claim. Legally you gifted her a plane ticket, there was no contract she had to come to the wedding.
Judges are capable of finding an assumed condition with a gift. The classic example is engagement rings typically get returned to the man if their fiance calls off the wedding.
I really wish people would stop saying this. Contracts do not have to be formal to be enforced. A gift is something given without expectations, so this wasn’t a gift. Oral contracts are considered contracts, at least under US law and many other countries. And if there are any texts and emails that say she was buying it with the expectation of her attending the wedding, then a contract would be formed once her friend accepted the ticket and hotel.
She bought the ticket with the stipulation her friend was coming to the wedding. Her friend didn’t fulfill her end of the contract. Now is she guaranteed to win? No. But she definitely would have a case.
And if there was an invitation and RSVP exchange, I would think this would also work in OP’s favor.
If you’re done with this friendship, go ahead and sue her.
Sounds like Gemma already decided *she’s* done with that friendship, honesly. She let OP pay her way to Bali, but “didn’t feel like” actually attending the wedding? I don’t know how you come back from that.
2300 dollar is a lot of money, but at least you now know that Gemma and John are a pair of asses. I’d just remove all connection with them and cherrish the thought that they didnt ruin anything else.
if someone took 2k from me and skipped my wedding I’d be heated too
It sounds like they were there for a week so they could have went to the wedding and still pretended the rest of the time was their honeymoon. A wedding is one day.
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but, NTA.
Someone offers to give you a free vacation on the condition that you attend one party during that time? I’d be jumping for that opportunity.
To take that free vacation and then no-call-no-show to your friends’ wedding is really shitty behaviour on their part. They could have extended their stay if they wanted to treat the trip as their own honeymoon.
I was thinking the same thing, came in judging off the title. Hard NTA. But the best you can do is dump that “friend” I don’t think the hassle is worth it. The courts will probably just see it as a gift.
A judge might see it as a gift, but you might be able to argue that it was more like a contract. Like an engagement ring. “If you are coming to my wedding, then I will pay for your expenses.” She didn’t fulfill her end of the bargain by coming to the wedding, but still took the airfare and hotel room.
NTA but first start by sending her a bill with copies of the bills for the airfare and the hotel. Maybe she’ll pay up without court. Worth a try.
NTA. You didn’t offer them a gift of a honeymoon. You offered to help them attend your wedding so they didn’t have an undue financial burden.
Also? They could totally have done both, spent some time together in honeymoon mode, and also attended your wedding. That they took your money and used it solely for themselves is not okay.