My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. We’ve recently done the holidays separately but started doing them together this year. His family is planning to go on a trip next year for Christmas week. However, I’m extremely close with my family/an only child so I feel guilty about leaving my parents for Christmas. AITA if I don’t go on the trip/stay at home with my family?
I guess YTA. There are a lot of possible compromises. I don’t see why you can’t go visit your parents before or after the vacation. At what point does your fiancé become family? If you don’t think of him as family then probably don’t marry him.
Yeah, I agree with this. I’m not sure why OP is only considering two options here.
ETA: I also love the username
Aw thank you
Info:
Soooo are you planning on never going to his family side for Christmas or major holidays? That’s gonna be a problem if you don’t
light YTA
Marriages only last if you are willing to make compromises with your partner, many of which are going to be much more important than one holiday with your family. It’s understandable that you find compromise difficult at this stage, but also time to suck it up and take one for the team. Your partner can reciprocate next year, and your parents will survive one Christmas without you.
Is someone calling Y-T-A for this? Have you not had a conversation with your partner about it? Attempted to reach a compromise?
NAH. Eventually, especially once married, you will both have to accept that “my family” includes each other and you’ll have to figure out a way to make it work.
Info: so if you started doing the holidays together what protocol have you been using? Do you alternate years? Christmas with one and Thanksgiving with the other? Whose family did you spend the 2025 holidays with?
I’m going with YTA as it’s looking like you’re bot planning in spending holidays with his family and will be pulling the only child card every year. Marriage is about compromise. Are you going to always have him leave his family or always spilt up for major holidays? What happens when you’ve kids etc
I’m an only child.
When we married we made a deal to rotate the major holidays. If Christmas was his family this year, it’s mine next. We alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas too. If we do thanksgiving with his this year we do Christmas with mine this year.
You need to keep it as fair and equal as possible. Because if/when you have kids… they deserve to see both sides of their own family.
Now is the time to have a discussion about splitting holidays with both families! Do this prior to getting married. There has to be a tradeoff, one side cannot monopolize a specific holiday. NTA
Have you talked to your parents? Turning this around. Is it possible that they might have thought about taking a Christmas trip themselves but never did because of YOU? Maybe they think you are the one who wants Christmas with mom and dad.
YTA. Your parents can survive few weeks without you. Have fun in this trip