edit: I have sent screenshots befor, he claims they are not on her phone so I am making it up.… I think she just deleted them or soemthing
I will call my DIL, Ashley. Ashley is horrible at responding to text and invites. It is very frustrating and it has caused many many issues
I don’t know if she is just forgetting to respond or just doenst care overall. The main issue is I will text her to invite her somewhere and then she doesn’t respond. We go do the event and then I get shit for not inviting her. I do invite her she just doesn’t respond.
At the beginning I thought I had the wrong number but that is not the case. The big issue happened at Christmas. The girls in the family were all invited to go a ski resort. It was a single night trip. She was in the group chat and I personally texted her. She never responded.
We went on the trip and people posted online. I got a pissed off call form my son about not inviting her. I told him I did and he didn’t believe me…
They refused to come to Christmas if I didn’t apologize. I didn’t apologize since I did invite her. After that I have been sending every single invite ( only been two so far) in a group chat that my son has been in.
Our latest outing was last weekend and it was just grabbing dinner. My son called me last night asking me to stop including him in the texts and I told him no. He claims it is causing problems and I told him that isn’t my problem. I am sick of being accused of lying about not inviting her.
He ain’t talking to me at the moment and other people are following my lead with this.
Am I being unreasonable
NTA
You are continuing to extend invitations which is kind. That fact that you need to protect yourself says volumes about your DIL and your son.
NTA
Good, she can’t accuse you of lying anymore. He can deal with it and see his wife just doesn’t care to respond to texts or invites
Protect yourself and it seems like other people has this issue also if they are following your led
NTA. if your son doesn’t want to included in every conversation about invitations, then he shouldn’t be calling you on behave of his wife.
Behalf. Behave is what the wife can’t seem to do
Sorry I’m a fat finger Tony here and autocorrect was useless in this instance.
No worries, I proposition people for sex when I’m asking for a sec all the time and I have tiny fingers.
NTA. But tbh I’d be more concerned that this seems like a calculated move from DIL to cut you out of their life. No one who really wants to be at events is ignoring multiple invites. Were there issues before the invite conflict?
NTA. The problems being caused are just that your DIL can’t lie about you anymore and is bitching to your son. Probably stuff about privacy and violating boundaries by including him in the chat.
DIL is pissed that her way of getting out of these things has been stopped. You’re doing the right thing by CYA.
NTA
She is unresponsive, then weaponizes it.
If he wants to get indignant about your lack of inclusion of his wife, and not believe when there is proof to the contrary, he can handle a few extra texts. Its not like you are flooding his inbox.
I think it is very nice that you even still include her since she obviously has no desire to be included other than to weaponize it for sympathy or to distance your son from his birth family.
NTA
It’s causing ‘problems’ because now DIL can’t claim she wasn’t invited, and they can’t just blame you as a scapegoat.
It’s “causing problems” because now he knows his wife is ignoring you & has confronted her about her lack of response. He’s prefer to go back to believing you’re the problem.
As long as he’s going to confront you for not inviting her and not believe that you actually did – only text her in a group text with him. Make him tell you to stop texting his wife altogether and admit that she wants nothing to do with his side of the family. Only stop when he releases you from responsibility. NTA
I wonder of the DIL has her blocked so she’s not receiving messages at all
It’s causing problems because now she can’t lie. It’s not on you that he married a liar and chose to bury his head in the sand about it until the evidence was in his face.
NTA.
Let him throw his adult tantrum and stop communicating altogether with both of them until THEY apologize.
Also because she doesn’t want to go to these outings and now she has to say that or pretend she wants to be there. I can imagine how many issues that’s causing.