I (30 MTF) have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 7. We have a daughter (16 MTF), who is also transgender. I adopted her two years ago. Her birth mother, who was Filipina but born in the US, passed away when my daughter was a baby. I am also a Filipino citizen.
Recently, during a trip to the Philippines, I learned that my daughter is eligible for dual Filipino citizenship based on my citizenship and her birth mother’s background. I think this would be a positive thing for her, as it would formally recognize her heritage and potentially give her more options in the future.
However, my husband and I do not agree on this. He does not think it is necessary and is uncomfortable with moving forward with dual citizenship. I feel strongly that this decision would benefit our daughter long-term, while he feels it complicates things and should not be pursued.
This has caused ongoing tension between us, and we can’t seem to find common ground.
AITA for wanting to move forward with getting my daughter dual Filipino citizenship despite my husband’s objections?
Edit from question: my daughter needs to do this before she is 18 to use my status as a filipino citizen.
My daughter is wanting to move forward on it.
My husband is her birth father.
NTA. I see zero reason why this would do anything but benefit her. Besides, she’s almost 18 anyway. Then it’s only her decision.
I N F O: Is this time sensitive? Like, can your daughter choose for herself in 2 years when she’s 18 or does the decision have to be made before then?
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Edit: NTA. OP’s daughter wants Filipino citizenship, and it needs to be done soon.
INFO:
Why, specifically, is your husband against it? What complications does he think dual citizenship will cause?
Am I correct in assuming your husband is not Filipino, and you’re all in the US currently?
My husband is not a Filipino and we all living in the United States however, I have taken my daughter to the Philippines to visit my side of the family.
I honestly feel my husband is against it just to be against it because there is a really no harm to doing it. He’s just trying to be very pro American.
Even though I’m not a US citizen myself
NTA. I think your husband needs to state his real reasons – well-informed ones preferably – because ‘it complicates things’ is inadequate.
I would say that in today’s world, we should all want as many options as possible for our futures. Even if your daughter never uses her Filipino citizenship, it’s essentially another avenue she could have if she should ever feel the need or desire to leave the US.
It’s hard to judge your husband as an AH when he hasn’t seemingly clarified his rationale for being against it. But if he’s just the type to dig in his heels for the sake of it, to uphold opinions that have no real rationale, or who puts blinders onto the realities of others’ arguments, then he is definitely an AH. Do you know anything else about his position beyond what you’ve stated here?
NTA at all. It may not be “necessary” but it can’t hurt and could be helpful. However, you don’t mention how SHE feels about it. To me, that’s the only opinion that really counts.
She is all about it. She loves going to the Philippines and meeting her cousins and doing things over there. She is also fluent in Tagalog.
NTA your husband is being unreasonable. Unless there’s some downside to having a Filipino citizenship I’m unaware of – if she was amab would she have to do mandatory military service in the Filipines should she get a citizenship or something like that? I think the US is the only country demanding citizens pay/file taxes even if they live abroad but is there some catch like that with Filipines citizenship? If not then the more passports the merrier.
Personally I was annoyed as an adult to realize I could have had dual citizenship with my dad’s country if he’d applied before I was 18.
NTA. Daughter is old enough to decide for herself, if she wants dual citizenship the family should do it.
Perhaps it is time for both of them to make a Pros and Cons list. And I do mean they should both make both lists. This can help your husband clearly verbalize his objections, and maybe he will realize his concerns are truly minor. It will also help each of them see the other’s POV, and help them both feel seen and heard by the other. Asking your daughter to look into the drawbacks of dual citizenship will help her fully understand her decision and show her dad she is approaching this with maturity. I don’t know, but it might help him understand and support her decision.
NTA, and the part here that makes your husband the A-hole is that he is ignoring his daughter’s wishes. I get that you might not ask a toddler this question, but 16 is old enough that her choice should be the one that counts here.
I would need to see husband’s objections laid out a lot more before I would even consider changing that judgement. 16 can and 16 wants to do something that causes no harm to anyone? Husband has to have a lot more than him not seeing the reasoning.
At the end, your daughters opinion is the only one that matters, if she wants, then she should get it. I love having dual citizenship.
NTA and honestly it’s a HUGE benefit for your trans daughter to have the ability to easily relocate long term to another country should she so choose without having to worry about visas etc. I urge you to help her get this process completed even if her father doesn’t want to cooperate.
I inherited dual citizenship and it made travel so much easier. It has never held me back or caused any issues. While the paperwork may be annoying, the rewards are significant and worth the paperwork hassle