I (24F) have been giving my friend/coworker (mid 30s) rides to and from work for the past few months. I’ll call them M. M doesn’t have a vehicle due to medical reasons, and since we work the same shifts, it hasn’t been a huge inconvenience for me to pick them up.
A few days ago, M went home early from work because they “weren’t feeling well.” The next day, I found out from someone else that the real reason they went home was because bed bugs were found actively crawling on them at work.
I was obviously alarmed, so I confronted M about it. They denied it and said they didn’t have bed bugs. I was feeling uneasy, so I asked if I could text their roommate just to ease my mind. M agreed.
Their roommate responded and confirmed that yes, they currently have bed bugs in their home.
At that point I was panicking. I checked my car and found TWO bed bugs on my passenger seat the same seat M sits in every day.
I immediately sprayed and treated my entire car with bed bug spray and essentially fumigated it. It was stressful and honestly disgusting.
I told M that until they could at least admit there’s an issue or apologize for not telling me, they would not be riding in my car. I don’t feel comfortable risking bringing an infestation into my own home.
They blew up at me and said they never gave me bed bugs and that I’m overreacting.
Now I’m being treated like I’m cruel for cutting off rides when they don’t have a car.
I feel bad because I know transportation is hard for them, but I also feel like this is a basic health and hygiene boundary.
So… AITA?
NTA
Eew.
You’re a nice person. I’d stop
NTA. It’s BEDBUGS. Do you want to have to burn your house to the ground and intentionally set your car on fire? Because those are going to be your only options going forward with this person.
You sound very kind hearted but for the love of all that is holy, ban this person from every porous aspect of your life.
They might end up in their home anyway because this person is bringing them to work and they’re going to get on all their coworkers😬😪
NTA. Oh god no, don’t let that person back into your car ever. They’re an untrustworthy liar who’s happy to expose everyone else in their life to the horror of bed bugs.
This the type of person in zombie movie/tv shows who get bit and endanger the group by not saying they got bit.
NTA: holy hell, yah nope. they were an AH for not proactively telling u and an even bigger AH fo lying when you asked. I get it, it sucks, there is stigma involved etc but spreading pests to other people cause of your shame is not ok
NTA. You’re not cruel in any way. Bed bugs aren’t something you should risk.
jfc check everything. NTA.
NTA. Bed bugs are not to be trifled with and the fact that the infestation is that bad that they’re just crawling all over this person and they’re blatantly lying about it is wild. I would not ever drive them again even once their infestation is over due to lack of trustworthiness and general lack of care for others.
NTA
dont give them a ride ever again. Check yourself for bites.
Imagine having to do what you did to your car, but to an entire house. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Plus kitchen, living room, dining room, garage, etc.
I live in a trailer house. Ive had to deal with them before and I dont want to EVER again. It doesnt help with the terms of my lease if something happens and I need get my house bug bombed I have to pay for it.
NTA. You did the reasonable thing – you asked them directly if the bed bug thing was true and they denied it. You asked if it’s OK to confirm with their roommate and the roommate told you there IS a bed bug situation at their place. You then found bugs in YOUR CAR where they sit and they still deny they have bed bugs. Those bugs could have made it into your place and infested your home! The fact that they still refused to admit they have bed bugs at home and apologise to you for getting bugs in your car is an awful reflection of their character, not to mention personal hygiene. Other thing is – they could also have spread it into your work if you have staff rest area with sofas…. You are a kind hearted person and this coworker is taking advantage of that – stop giving people like that any more rides in your car even if they get rid of their current infestation.
We have found them in some of the chairs at work.
this person should be fired. They are quite literally a super spreader. If your job gets a reputation of having bed bugs it could cause it to go under