Hi, bit of backstory, I’m 20, almost 21, years old and can’t drive. It’s not because of any mental or physical disability, it’s because no one will teach me.
All through out my life, I’ve felt like my mom has always expected me and my sister to know how to do things without actually teaching us. Then, when she finds out we don’t know how to do something, she’ll tease us, saying "you should know how to do this," and "how are you 21 and dont know this?"
Driving was no exception, however, my younger sister has a friend who taught her to drive and took her to take her test as soon as she turned 18. My sister will take me driving sometimes, but we work different schedules and its hard to stay consistent. Whenever she has the time, I’m busy and vise versa.
Me not being able to drive has left me being dependent for rides to and from work, doctor appointments, and errands. It’s honestly exhausting and embarrassing to be so dependent on people like this.
Today, I needed to get 3 prescriptions filled. They’re not life-saving prescriptions or anything, but I definitely feel the difference with them vs without them. I asked my mom yesterday and this morning to pick them up and she said she would. When I got home, they weren’t here.
My mom decided she didn’t want to pick them up after she dropped me off at work, so she when home. Then, asked my sister to pick them up, who forgot.
It upsets me because it’s already frustrating having to be dependent on other people for this, then for them to not even do whats asked. I feel like a such an entitled jerk for blowing up on people because they’re not running my errands, but also so defeated because I genuinely have no other option.
Aita??
Extra: I live in a very poor and secluded area. No sidewalks or bike lanes, no ride apps, and the only public transportation in a van that picks up disables people. Nearest driving school is 20 miles and dmv is an hour.
Conclusion: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions. I would like to clarify and say I was more so mad that they said they WOULD pick it up and didn’t then I was for anything else. Also, I was in a car accident when I was 16 and didn’t drive again till I was medicated at 19, and have scheduled many appointments for my license test that I had to cancel for one reason or another. I was not sitting on my ass for 5 years. I have tried, that is why this is so frustrating.
However, a lot of you were right. I have been too scared to actually drive and its caused me to put it on the back burner and let everything pile up. I’m going to be looking into driving schools or, more likely, finding someone I trust to teach me. Reminder, you don’t know everything from one story on the internet. It’s fine to say I’m the asshole, but dont make assumptions about me or my life, you only know what I want to share. Kindness is beautiful.
INFO: What other people have you approached for driving lessons?
Why can’t you take driving lessons with a professional instructor?
Info: if you work why haven’t you hired a driving instructor? If you have friends who can drive, why can’t they teach you? Whose car does sister drive?
ESH. You say that you work. Which means you have an income. You are an adult. If you want to learn how to drive, at this point no one is stopping you but you.
YTA.
>All through out my life, I’ve felt like my mom has always expected me and my sister to know how to do things without teaching us.
Um…yeah. OP, you’re nearly the age to legally drink. Did your mom take care of you throughout your life? Do you know how to do laundry, cook for yourself, etc? If not then your mom didn’t do too well in showing y’all basic adulting while y’all were growing up.
Now in regards to learning how to drive and your inability to get your own prescriptions: what is stopping you from googling local driving schools and what was stopping you from using Uber, Lyft, a cab, public transportation, or walking (well with walking, it depends on the distance)? Before I got my license, I had to rely on the train, the bus, and walking; so how come you didn’t find other ways to get your prescriptions?
YTA, you are an adult. Take the bus, walk, take an Uber, etc. As for the driving, go to driving school or ask a local group for someone to teach you who teaches on the side.
No sidewalks or ride apps and the only public transportation is a small van for disabled people
YTA. Get an instructor and learn to drive. If there are things you don’t know how to do, find someone to show you or Google/youtube. You can absolutely learn basic skills this way. You’re an adult and being helpless is not a choice. Sorry you feel you didn’t get parental instruction but it’s time to take accountability for yourself.
YTA stop being a victim. You’re an adult. There’s more ways to get around then by driving. You could have gotten them before or after work.
You could have organised yourself better and gotten a taxi or public transport to collect them on your day off.
You can learn to drive. Many people don’t have parents or siblings who can teach them to drive. Yet they learn. You’ve a job. Pay for lessons.
You shouldn’t have to rely on mommy to teach you everything
There are these things called Drivers Education Schools. They pick you up from your home and take you for lessons.
>it’s because no one will teach me.
You are now an adult. Everyone has something their parents didn’t prepare them for.
At some point you’re going to have to start taking responsibility for your life.
*Figure it out*.
YTA
YTA
You’re a grownup. Stop blaming other people and figure it out. There are driving schools. There are programs through the DMV. There are neighbors or other adults. I am willing to bet big money your public library has a driving test study guide you can check out for FREE.
If you don’t want to be dependent on other people, *don’t be dependent on other people.*
There are tons of things we don’t get taught. You have had the entire world of knowledge at your fingertips your entire life. Use it.
Wasn’t something almost identical to this posted a little while back? Either you’re stealing stories or you refused to take advice the first time.
YTA. You’re 20, almost 21. You work. Take some of that income and pay someone to teach you to drive. Your neighbors would likely do it for the cost of gas. Find a driving study guide for your area so you can do the learner’s test. It’s not that hard to figure something out.
You’re an adult. Adults have to come to terms with the fact their parents might not be great and figure out how to make up for the things they didn’t teach you so you can fully function.
YTA
You’re an adult now. That means when you have gaps knowledge or skill gaps, it’s on *you* to fix it. You can say ‘yeah, my parents should have taught me this,’ but that doesn’t change the fact that you are now responsible for yourself, and it’s on you to work on fixing those gaps.
You can go take a driving course and learn how to drive yourself. Then start with a second-hand/used car and go from there.