My (32F) boyfriend (29M) works from home full time. His job is to book meetings with prospective clients and then sit in on the first one or two virtual meetings between his company and the prospect to help kick things off.
I love him to pieces and I know he takes his job seriously but I’m concerned that he dresses too casually, even for a virtual meeting. For example, he has two sweatshirts that he loves to wear: One is a sort of light gray with a faint tie dye pattern, and the other bears the name of his high school. His hair and beard have also gotten a bit longer and he rarely combs or brushes his hair so it sticks up a bit.
On one hand, he works for a tech company and these meetings are all virtual so maybe I’m being too uptight and he’s dressed fine for the occasion. But on the other hand, these are meetings with prospective clients – not just his team. I work hybrid in a corporate role and frankly I would not be impressed if someone who is trying to secure our business showed up looking that casual.
I love him and I want the best for him, and I want him to do well and grow in this role. He’s pretty early in his career and I’m worried that he’s not making a good impression. A few simple swaps would go a long way while maintaining the same level of comfort, like swapping the hoodie for a solid color crew-neck sweater. And he doesn’t always wear the hoodies, but I know for a fact he wore one to at least one prospect meeting yesterday. However, he’s so sensitive and I think he’d be offended if I suggested that he doesn’t take care of his appearance.
WIBTA if I suggested he dress more professionally for virtual meetings?
I think you need to eithe know or ask him what his company dress code is even for virtual… otherwise let it go. he is an adult and you don’t need step in… don’t give advice unless he asks for it…
Mild YWBTA.
He’s an adult. He works for a company. He has a boss. If he isn’t following company dress code, or his boss’s preference, then his boss should give him the feedback.
Your company culture and his are not the same. The most I would suggest you do is ASK him if his company has a dress code for virtual meetings. And maybe start by expressing envy that he doesn’t have to dress up.
Also, not all virtual meetings have cameras on. Most of mine have people sharing their screen, either going through a presentation or actively working on a spreadsheet. Or in this case, a schedule.
This really depends on the both of you, how you communicate etc… Peronsally, for me, YWBTA because you’re getting into my work business without knowing my work business, what I’ve done for the company, my level of expertise, how I’m perceived, what is valued etc… I’ve never worked at a place where appearance has any bearing on competence etc…
At the very least, tread carefully, he’s 29 and been working for a while, it’s going to be hard to give any (unsolicited) advice without sounding condescending and judgemental… and possibly give him a complex at the same time.
NAH. Without knowing more about the company its hard to say, but I would say that if the company doesn’t find it a big enough problem to say something about it to him then you shouldn’t either.
YTA. That is a grown ass man. Let his boss tell him what’s what. Don’t take on emotional labor/mental load that *nobody* asked you to do.
If he hasn’t received negative feedback from his manager and he hasn’t asked for your opinion, you should keep these thoughts to yourself. NAH because your intentions are altruistic, but he’s not your child and you don’t need to manage his wardrobe.
In lots of places that tightwad dressing crap went away.
YTA. Light. Tech company is probably very different than corporate. You dont suggest, it’s not your business, but you could just start a conversation about the different dress codes at your companies so you can learn about his. I find it super interesting to learn about other people’s lives, and if it turns out he IS dressing differently than his co-workers, you’ll get to learn something about him.
YWBTA. His career is none of your business. You are not his parent. You don’t know his office culture at all. This falls into MYOB.
YWBTA if you don’t work in his field. Work attire gotten a lot more casual in general and on top if that what someone wears in for example finance would be way too upright for someone in tech. Don’t judge him by what you see in your job.
YWBTA, my ex works for a software company that specializes in Head Start programs, they are a huge company. He travels to head quarters once a quarter and does virtual meetings daily. They don’t care what he wears, as long as he clothed. The culture for some industries especially tech is very casual.
YWBTA. I work in tech – unless you think he’s a moron I’d leave him alone on the topic. Tech companies have vastly different cultures on dress code (enforced or not). If he’s doing good at his job and isn’t getting feedback about this then I wouldn’t get in his head about it.
Ywbta. Unless his bosses have complained your opinion of his work attire doesn’t really matter. Could he dress up more yes does he need to probably not or his bosses would have called him out on it a long time again.
YTA – He’s a grown adult After you made a suggestion, you need to back off. It’s his choice. And you need to either accept him as he is or cut him loose for someone who will appreciate him while you look for someone who fits the mold you think you should be with.