So… my (35 m) boyfriend (26 m) was telling me he doesn’t file taxes because he doesn’t like that he should have to. He said he doesn’t care about money at all and started talking about how we should have a moneyless society like Star Trek and ranting against capitalism and saying a bunch of other stuff about how no one should have to work and just on and on.
I told him that regardless of how he believes society should work, this is the one we’ve got right now, and we just have to deal with some things for now. I pointed out that even though he doesn’t feel like we should have to work, that he does work and also does other things he doesn’t want to because, like it or not, he needs money to live in this world. I was also very uneasy about it, because while I’m pretty sure he would always get a refund and not owe with what he makes, God forbid he ever did end up owing anything and getting in trouble… And I’m not really sure if they do punish people who they owe a refund to instead of collect from, but it makes me uneasy regardless.
We argued for a while. He insisted that he had looked into it some years back and would have only got $4 and would have had to pay a company like H&R Block $70. I showed him that he could file for free on certain websites and begged him just to upload his W-2 and info and see what it said. After a lot of pleading, I finally got him to do it for my peace of mind, and now he’s getting a return of about $800.
The whole thing just made me feel uneasy. Especially if our finances may end up tied together and his consequences would one day be mine. Am I just being unreasonable and too uptight and worried? Should I have just let him stick to his guns and beliefs regarding taxes?
NTA, and if he wants to stick to his guns, do not join finances with him.
I suppose if your finances become tied together, as long as he doesn’t care that you file for him you can live that way. But make sure he understands that you’re going to send the refund to a joint account and use it for household needs, if he can’t be bothered to stick it to the man by getting his refund himself.
financial incompatibility
The catalyst for most divorces.
This guy takes the cake though. Not only are they financially incompatible, but they are so because he’s an id10t.
NTA you saved him $800 and wanting to find a compatible person including for large financial decisions is a normal consideration.
NTA even if you stay together, never marry this dude and definitely keep your finances separate
I would break up. You’re many years apart both in age and maturity. Imagine if you’re one day filing joint taxes together, is this someone you trust to not have the IRS knocking on your door? NTA and consider this a red flag and the $800 a parting gift
NTA, but don’t get tangled up with someone who is so dismissal of the law.
NTA.
Do not for any reason combine finances with this man. His attitude is likely to bring him financial ruin and serious legal trouble.
Star Trek is a fictional world and if he is legitimately trying to apply fake societal principles to real life, I would be extremely concerned.
NTA
> Am I just being unreasonable and too uptight and worried? Should I have just let him stick to his guns and beliefs regarding taxes?
Its not matter of preference or freedom. All adults should know how to handle taxes and be financially responsible. This is hill worth to die on. If he cant improve in this aspect then for me it would be deal breaker. His vision of society doesnt matter at all.
Let him bury himself and do not in any way link your finances with his.
NTA. Absolutely rethink this relationship. If you do decide to continue with this, never link his finances to yours in any way. Sever any accounts you currently have in common. What he told you about his views tells you exactly how he will act in the future. Do you really want to live with that?
The IRS doesn’t fool around. They can go back years to do audits if they wish. If they audit him and find that he has not been filing, it will not go well for him or for anyone whose finances are linked to his. If you live in a state or city which also has income taxes, they can also do audits. You might want to brace yourself because this is not a matter of if but of when.
Oh look. You’re his dad!
How are you supposed to have a relationship with someone so untrustworthy? He’s going to F up your finances some day and you wont be able to claim you didn’t see it coming.
NTA
Babe, do not entangle yourself with this man. Does he also feel like he shouldn’t have to floss his teeth or go to the doctor? Do you have to beg him to wipe his ass?
Please raise your standards
YTA to yourself if you continue a relationship with an adult that acts like a child. You’re also an AH for trying to change who he is. You will not be successful.
>Especially if our finances may end up tied together
Nope. I would never even let it get that far. You two are different and fundamentally incompatible. You really want a long term partner or even spouse who the IRS is coming after? I wouldn’t. Screw that.
Differences in financial goals are among the top reasons couples divorce.
Do you really want someone like this to hold you back and be an anchor on you for the rest of your life?
Yikes.