To contextualize, this was some time ago and I just still can’t get it off my chest.
I was in high school at the time, I (16F) was very sensitive, I truly believed that my value comes from my work or grades. During this time, I met a boy (17M) that soon became my friend after no one wanted to talk to him and I took the initiative to try to get to know him.
We were very close friends. The first months were nice, he would say that I was very good at my studies and that I really dedicated myself to it. He was also a high achiever so I was very happy that someone else noticed my dedication in a positive light (people would make fun of me for "dedicating" so much time to my studies).
But after 6 months or so, I noticed that he changed. When I’d make a small mistake of interpretation he’d say "You’re too smart to be doing these mistakes!" and I, naively, believed that. Some mistakes I made during tests were quite dumb in my own belief. I didn’t realize the mean implications those words had.
It got to the point that I noticed he was starting to point it out very loudly in the middle of class. I’d show him my test and be very proud of my grade, but he’d respond with "Wow you made a mistake in that? How dumb". It was starting to get toxic to the point I wanted to distance myself, because I realized I started believing I was dumb, and according to all my friends, I am not dumb.
I didn’t want to talk about ANYTHING related to tests anymore after that. But then, in a later week, the results for the English exam came out. I almost got a 100%, I got a 90%(?, I recall it was a high grade). My only mistake was not noticing that the text was clearly a metaphorical(?) text. And A had a field day… WITH MY TEACHER. They were, no joke, in the front of class, laughing at my mistake. Doing the metaphors literally like: "The days run together" and they’d run around the class saying they are Monday and Sunday. I couldn’t handle it anymore and ran to the school therapist, that also works as a coordination.
But when I went to complain about A, the therapist didn’t do anything about him! Said something about "Everyone has their problems, he might’ve been rude to you, but he’s also passing through stuff." (It is not in my position to say what he was experiencing, but it was heavy). I felt so terrible for two reasons: 1. The fact he had been mocking me our entire friendship and 2. That I was being an asshole to a guy who was passing through stuff. The only person who gained accountability was my teacher.
So I confronted A, telling him I feel like he’s being toxic and purposely bullying me. He said he wasn’t and he thought it was funny because I ‘laughed’ along. In the end, I just told him I’d be distancing myself for an unknown period of time, because I felt hurt and offended. He said I was over exaggerating and tried to talk to me several times, apologizing and all.
So AITA for cutting him off as if we were never friends in the first place?
And NOW you know WHY nobody wanted to talk to him.
You’re an intelligent person….not perfect (nobody is all the time), but obviously quite smart. Ignore the PITBs and don’t show your work to anyone….it may come off as bragging.
Teacher may have been trying to be cute or funny….but they ain’t!
At the time, he was a new student so I just thought people were being judgemental, so that’s why I tried to talk to him. And I won’t show my work to anyone really, I just wanted to ask because I felt conflicted due to the fact my friends did say I was one while others says I wasn’t. (Sorry I misinterpreted the work part, but the showing the tests was a thing only between me and him!)
YTA for making me read that drivel.
NTA. He was trying to prop up his own insecurities by making you feel “less than” him. Clearly, that is not the case, because everyone knows that pointing out other people’s errors as if they were faults is what children do.
You did the right thing. He was not behaving like a real friend.
I understand, at the time I just really felt like he was trying to ‘bully’ me because of the mean comments. But I do realize it could’ve been just the pointing errors as faults, that is something the age demographic can do frequently.