So recently I had a cousin (28M) that was living with me move out on their own volition at the end of last month. He and I had not been getting along for quite awhile and when he moved out he and I were not on speaking terms.
A few days ago my mother reached out in regards to scheduling a date for him you finish cleaning up the mess he had left. He had some choices words in response, then stated that I was throwing away his mail. He gave a reminder that this is a federal offense, of course I want to make it very clear I have not done this. I have marked his mail return to sender and placed it in the outgoing mail slot. He also requested we do not contact him again or he will not come clean up his trash.
Mind you at this point I have given up any hope of him cleaning up his trash and I have submitted to the fact that I will have to take care of it. The thing I was wondering if I’m the asshole for is he had a package sent to my address for my nephew that lives with me. I was informed by my nephew when he was looking for keys to the mailbox.
Since my nephew is a minor I made it clear to him that I will need written consent from this cousin to give the package to him to avoid a federal offense. Since the package was delivered in the cousin’s name instead of in my nephew’s name. Instead of just providing the consent in a message my cousin started to call me repeatedly, disturbing my work day. He made a couple of comments in messages of involving the police and making a scene at my work.
So am I the asshole for ignoring his 10 calls and blocking him because I wanted written consent to take his package out of my mailbox?
So your nephew lives with you too?
Why not just get the nephew to take the package himself? Is he not allowed access to the mailbox?
Weather you’re the AH here depends on you motive.
Are you insisting on a written consent because you’re actually genuinely concerned that your cousin will otherwise start some legal problems for you, or are you just being petty because you’re annoyed at your cousin?
Yes he has brought up legal recourse on multiple accounts
You’re never an ah for protecting yourself.
NTA. This is malicious compliance right here!
NTA
NTA- he opened with the threats so it is only reasonable to respond as if he were going to go through with them.
Not knowing the full story because you are omitting it on purpose which leads me to believe you have lame culpability you’re kind of suspect….
Anyway… At this point you’re just building up more animosity between you two and purposefully being difficult. The nephew is innocent in all this drama.
I can’t really pick a side unless you let us know what really transpired but I will say that the kid is the one that is getting the short end of the stick.
I am asking for it as written, I do not care for the form. In fact I would have preferred a text to avoid interacting with him. The things I am omitting is that his email officially started with kiss my ass with requesting for him to clean up his trash that he has piled up around my house. He has also used some rather petty ways to try and get back at me for something he believes I have done to him, which I cannot tell you what was in full honesty. I know I am not the easiest person to live with, I am messy, and I do not care for confrontation so I avoided it as much as possible.
As for my nephew no he did not have access to the mailbox due to myself having both keys since my cousin returned his I just left them in my jacket pocket. Even if he did have access it would still be considered a federal offense. Selfishly I do not want it to fall back on me without something written stating it is okay.
As for not answering his calls, the messages he left demanded I respond to him within a time limit or he was going to file a police report. He did threaten this twice and as I do not want to be chewed out for as he said in his message ‘trying to play with him’ I much rather have everything with a form of proof. I was also in the middle of my work day and cannot drop everything to meet his demands.
However if I am still seen as the AITA with this additional information I will consider what I have done carefully.
ESH this whole situation sounds messy and petty.
He should contact the post office to have his mail forwarded effective immediately.
If he wants to send something to your nephew he should have it addressed to your nephew.
How much cleaning is there to be done? If it’s just filling a trash bag and mopping the floor then IMO it’s not worth insisting he come back to do that.
NTA
Normally I’d say you’re the asshole for being petty, but it’s always best to treat a threat someone makes like they might follow through on it. Your cousin was very explicit about reporting you for messing with their mail, so making 100% sure you’re protected is totally fine. NTA