so i went out last night w some friends. one of them (let’s call her Sarah) offered to drive since she doesn’t drink and said she’d stay sober. cool.
everything was fine until like 1am when she suddenly says she’s “too tired” and wants to leave. i told her i was good staying and i’d just uber home later. she kept saying she “felt responsible” for me and wouldn’t leave without me. it honestly turned into a whole thing and i didn’t feel like arguing in the middle of the club so i just went with her.
then once we get to the car she goes, “actually i’m gonna go to my bf’s place, it’s closer.” his place is like 20 mins the opposite direction from mine. she drives there, pulls into a gas station near his house and tells me to just call a ride from there.
the uber back to my place was $25 bc of surge.
if she had just left me at the club like i originally said, i would’ve paid and not cared. but she basically forced me to leave bc she “felt responsible” and then dropped me off halfway so she could see her bf.
so yeah i venmo requested her the $25. now she’s mad saying i’m ungrateful because she already “gave me a ride” and my other friends think i’m being petty over 25 bucks.
idk. it’s not even really about the money. it just feels weird to drag someone out and then leave them at a gas station.
AITA?
NTA – that’s super weird. Maybe she didn’t want to walk to her car on her own, but regardless, very uncool
NTA that’s super bizarre behaviour from her
I think Sarah wanted to go to her bf, but she also didn’t want to seem like someone who would ditch her friend to be alone at night to be with a guy.
And she dumped OP at the gas station, because Sarah could then act like she technically gave OP a ride and that she just “happened” to decide to be with her bf, like it wasn’t planned. Plus it was out of sight of her other friends.
And all the other friends seem to not know or realize that and think she was just trying to be a being a good friend. And that is what Sarah was going for
then sarah is absolutely horrible for taking OP away from where she was safe with her other friends, all the while intending to dump her drunk and alone at a gas station in the middle of the night
INFO: Did she wait until you were underway before telling you she wasn’t taking you home? I’m wondering if you had the opportunity to \*not\* get in the car after she made that decision.
EDIT: As the friend presented the change in destinations too late for OP to make an informed decision, OP is NTA. If the friend was actually interested in ‘being responsible’, she would have made sure that OP got home instead of dumping them at some random gas station across town.
NTA. That’s so strange. Why not just drop you off then go to her boyfriend’s? Was she afraid of walking to her car alone and just wanted you as a human shield?
NTA – if she actually felt responsible for you she wouldn’t have left you at the gas station alone. Even if she wanted to see her boyfriend she could’ve dropped you off first. Good friends do that for each other if they promised to give you a ride (or at least don’t drag you out of there)
venmo request is fair off, don’t volunteer rides or you’re gonna half do it
NTA – that is very bizzarre from her, and going by one of your comments to not tell you until you were in the car already is rude. Venmoing her $25 to pay for your uber is totally fair in this situation.
NTA – you need better friends. Her responsibility to you ended as soon as you reassured her that you would be fine taking the uber, and even still, she made you leave under the expectation that she’d be taking you home (after all, the WHOLE POINT of staying sober was because she had already volunteered to be the designated driver.) She dropped one responsibility for another, and then didn’t even follow through. The LEAST she could do is pay back the extra cash you had to spend because of her.
NTA, so she felt “responsible for you” but was fine leaving you at a gas station alone? Math isn’t mathing.
NTA – she changed the parameters after it was too late for you to do anything.
Not a good friend.
NTA – If she wanted to go to her boyfriend’s house, why did she insist on taking you with her? It seems like you would have noticed that she was going the wrong way sooner than 20 minutes into the trip, but still – that was wrong.
NTA . How could she ever think that she was doing you a good deed by ditching you at a random gas station late at night without a safe way to get home? Why didn’t she take you home before driving to her bfs?