Hi everyone, I just wanted some perspective on this.
For intro..
My boyfriend and I were friends first and we work together and we’re building a youtube together.
We’re naturally comfortable talking and sharing details and whenever he needs my advice on something like a script or a paragraph for video shoot or need some advice on video or generally wants to share his excitement on something he calls me…and I love hearing his voice Nad honestly after so long of being a middle child it feels better that someone cares.
So recently we were on a work trip and since it was all female my boyfriend was a little concerned about safety (for all valid reasons) and I’m a little introvert around people except my family, friends and boyfriend. So I left for my room for some quiet time after work and he called me like twice after we said good night because he wanted to ask me something he was working on… which is okay with me…
And any time I get some free time i call him, because simply I love to listen to his voice and I love talking to him.
And he checks on me throughout the day normally and if he’s working on something and he needs my advice or my decision he calls me, which doesn’t disrupt my work in any way… on busy days we don’t talk until evening.
I’m sorry I’m being a little messy but recently there were 2 people.. let’s say.. Sim and Dim
Sim is Single and said she can never talk to someone in a relationship… she’d need space… and Dim is in relationship and she said she talks to her partner but like 15 mins in a whole day… and they said I talk too much.
But the thing is none of our work gets disrupted and we also make time for our hobbies individually and for our personal time as well..
You are not an asshole but I would be concerned that you are being checked in on in a controlling way (I know you don’t feel this way but it would appear that way to me from the outside, especially the calls late at night after you had already said goodnight) is it possible that they are just a bit concerned for you? NAH
It can be disruptive to others if you are chatting with your bf in a common area. Everyone has different noise sensitivity levels, and if you work in a quiet office, that may be the issue. Even if it isn’t affecting your work, it could be affecting others’ ability to work effectively.
NAH
How much you talk with your BF outside of work is really your business. Is it consuming your time, your energy, your life — hard to tell, but again, your business.
How much your BF talks to you multiple times a day when you’re at work, OTOH, is a real problem. It conveys the notion that even your professional life and appropriate professional behavior are subordinated to your desire to hear his voice. And no. This is unhealthy, a loss of appropriate boundaries, and a lapse of judgment.
Which is it?
NAH – however you should be aware there are many workplaces where your current behaviour wouldn’t be acceptable (ie many don’t allow any personal calls during your shift, or for you to be on your phone texting etc), so its not unusual for people to be judging you as less professional even though it seems to be acceptable in your current place of employment.
NTA. You aren’t in a relationship with Sim and Dim. Who cares what they think.
Thankuu so muchhhh… 😊
Is it your relationship or theirs? NTA. only you two can choose what works for you. It may not work for others but that doesn’t matter.
Thankuu so muchhh…😊
NTA at all. Different couples have different “normal” and if you two are happy, work is fine, and hobbies are still happening, then who cares how much you talk.
Sim and Dim are just projecting their own preferences like they’re universal rules.
Thanku sooo much…. 😊
INFO : What’s the context with Sim and Dim? Did they bring the topic up as a concern to you? Or was this part of a conversation in which you described the frequency of your calls with bf and they just described their own situations/preferences and personal opinions?
You say you were on a work trip and “since it was all female” your boyfriend “had some safety concerns”.
Like…what exactly?
NTA- unless it’s during work or during time the other girls on the trip would like to spend with you or being loud and in their faces, talking to your boyfriend too much can’t really make you an asshole.
if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend and i sleep on call, wake up on call, call each other during any breaks, and anytime we are home so it’s normal depending on relationships.