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AITAH? Am I a bad mom that deserved it?
First time posting, I was told to ask other parents their opinion if I didn’t like his, so here I am.
This morning, valentine’s day BTW. Me (32f) and my daughter (5yo) woke up at 6am per usual and lately my daughter has been on a Kpop kick so its our wake up movie. We dance to the songs every morning. She likes to pretend she is on stage by using my 3 step, step ladder. I am always there with her, I don’t let her be ‘crazy’ on it but she enjoys it and has never gotten hurt. This morning is Saturday and she asked for the movie and the step ladder and so I turned it on and pulled it out, but she didn’t want me, she wanted to show and dance with her dad (45m) so she goes and gets him. He comes out and sees her climb on the ladder and gets angry at her and me, yelling that its irresponsible, dangerous and I shouldn’t let her do those things. I told him we were okay and she wasn’t doing anything wrong and we do this EVERY morning. He started yelling more that I was being a bad and irresponsible parent. I told him it just sounds like he is trying to power trip everyone and he continued to yell at me and call me names, told me to ask other parents so here I am…..Am I being a bad mom?
Edit
I’d love to show him the responses but it would just get him more angry at me, he hasn’t left our room since other than to make himself breakfast so im pretty sure he did this to get out of valentine’s day I guess idk
ESH you shouldn’t let your daughter dance on a ladder. Even if you’re there to catch her, you’re setting a bad example of ladder safety. Also, can’t she stand on the sofa or bed or something that’s safer and still above the floor like a stage?
Your husband also sucks, there’s no need to start yelling, your daughter shouldn’t grow up thinking it’s ok for men to say they love her but then yell at them instead of calmly raise an issue.
NTA. Does he forbid her to climb stairs too?
NTA. It’s 3 freaking steps – that’s not a ladder, but a step stool. She is having supervised fun with very little risk. Does your husband regularly speak to you like that? I would be more concerned about raising my child in an environment where she learns that his type of reaction is acceptable.
NTA, 5 years old can and should climb almost everywhere, sometimes they will fall, whether you are with them or not. Then they will cry and get up. It is not big deal at all. Kids are nit made of glass. Your husband is the AH for yelling no matter what. You should show him open kind of kindergartens in scandinavina countries where 3 year olds are climbing the trees etc …
Damn, guess that kid isn’t going to a play park.
NTA. No, you aren’t being a bad mom; he is being overprotective.
Three steps, she’s 5 and you’re right there? I don’t see a problem. She’s probably in more danger running down the stairs (or up; it’s possible to fall up stairs. I did that once). Or swinging, lots of children fall off swings or playing on a trampolines. Trampolines are notorious for causing injuries in children.
NTA
NTA. He’s failing as a father. Children have to learn how to try and how to fail.
NTA
Risky play is good for kids. Not just good – essential for their growth and development.
You’re not only not being a bad parent, you’re actively being a good parent by providing your child with something they NEED.
If he actually cared he would’ve been aware the whole time. His tantrums right in front of her are way more harmful than the ladder.
NTA. Your husband has issues. How dare he scream at you, let alone in front of your daughter.
Forget the situation. He should NEVER yell in front of your child or insult you anywhere. He’s a bad dad and a bad husband for that. NTA.
“He continued to yell at me and call me names”. Girl. GIRL. Is that what you want your kid to see as normal in a relationship?
He yells at you, in front of your child, and calls you a bad mom?
Really?
You’d be a bad mom if you let this behaviour continue. This is what your daughter is learning.