I retired from the Army reserve after 22 years in the summer of 2024. I got nothing as a parting gift from any level (unit, BN, BDE, etc.). I didn’t really care. I was just happy to be retired and have put that phase of my life behind me.
This past week I was asked over text by the same guys who couldn’t be bothered to give me so much as a certificate of appreciation on a piece of A4 if I wanted to contribute to a gift for another guy who is retiring soon. They plan to get him a 1911.
I told them I would but kind of jokingly reminded him I didn’t even get a used Starbucks gift card when I left. I didn’t get a reply. Waited a couple days and let him know that I really wasn’t trying to be an ass if it had seemed like it but that I was caught a little off guard being asked to contribute to such a gift after having received nothing and that it was a bit of a gut punch.
I’ve still heard nothing back. It’s not like these guys are just casual acquaintances. I’ve deployed to the Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, etc. with these guys and a couple even stood at my wedding. Known a few of them for nearly 20 years. I still have heard nothing at all. Just crickets.
So AITA for reminding the same people asking me to contribute to a pretty significant retirement gift that they got me nothing. I did chip in and throw $100 in the Venmo. And still nothing.
\- edited for a typo
\- Edit # 2 for those who keep asking why I sent money and for those who will. I’ve spent a decent bit of my life in some pretty shitty places with the guy they’re organizing this for. One of the best guys out there. Sure he’s one of the guys that could have done something when I left but me leaving empty handed doesn’t mean he should. I’m happy to contribute. I simply pointed out a fact when asked to do so.
NTA and I don’t know why you’d send any money after being treated with total silence to the truth.
I wouldn’t have sent the money if they weren’t even willing to respond after you “jokingly” confronted them about it. Even a “yeah, sorry about that” or something
NTA, I don’t think you’re an asshole. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this.
NtA but you should have kept your money.
Dont keep asking for a response. They asked you a question, you said no. End of.
If you were hurt about no gift then you should have raised it years ago. Who remembers the circumstances, and mood they were in a few years ago when you left?
NAH
NTA. That sucks. I think you were an incredible sport to contribute.
YTA
For sending the money. What the….
Why?!
I’m so confused! It’s like a people pleaser had revenge in his mind, but irl he caved! Don’t give anyone anything! Especially when no one celebrated you.
Because he’s better than them.
Lol I quit my company and then years later ended up back at it (yay monopolies!)
I didn’t even get a see-ya as I left, the standard was at least a card. After I came back people were getting *multiple* going away presents.
Sure, maybe it’s just because I’m an asshole, but honestly it was sucky to see the exact same people when I left now organising presentation picture frames, travel mugs, luggage covers and the like. Then they get offended when I won’t chip in to people who’ve work d there for like a year.
NTA, but now you know who your friends are(‘nt).
NTA. It sounds to me like they’re realizing now, after you said something about it, that they didn’t do anything back then and now don’t know how to acknowledge it.
We should be able to tell our friends when they do or don’t do something that hurts us.
Nta. When my husband was stationed at a base several of us wives had a baby. Guess who didnt get a baby shower but was still expected to shoe up and bring presents for the other wives?
I kinda wish you would have had the chutzpah to stood on business and kept your money.