I’m 19F, currently in college and still living at home. I’ve been working part-time since I was 16 and I’m really strict about saving. I don’t go out much, don’t buy expensive stuff, and I’ve managed to save a decent amount (around $4k).
Last week my mom asked me to log into my banking app to transfer money for groceries because her card “wasn’t working.” While I was doing that, she saw my total savings.
She went quiet and later that night told me that since I’m living under her roof, I should contribute more and that it’s “selfish” of me to hoard money while she’s struggling. She asked me to give her $2k to “help the family” and said I could always earn it back.
The thing is, she’s not unemployed or anything. She works full-time. We’re not rich, but we’re not in crisis either. I already pay for my own school stuff, my phone bill, and sometimes groceries. I was saving that money in case I move out or for emergencies.
When I said I wasn’t comfortable giving that much, she called me ungrateful and said I’m acting like a “tenant” instead of a daughter.
Now my relatives are saying I should help because “family helps family,” but I feel like she only wants it because she saw how much I had.
AITA for refusing to give her half my savings?
NTA and start looking at on campus housing if your school offers it.
NTA. Your saving it for emergencies. That’s a good reason. You’re 19 and being responsible. She’s trying to punish you for being good with your money. The “earn it back” things sounds like a lie.
NTA. That is your savings to help you build a future. Unless you’re collectively in imminent danger of an eviction or a utility getting turned off, family helps _prepare children for successful launches into the world_.
DO NOT GIVE HER A DIME!!!
This is a big lesson you need to learn with family and growing up. You give them money once, they will keep
Coming back. Forever. That’s your money for college. Do not any of it to your mother.
Unfair though it might be, that advice *might* be a quick trip to homelessness.
Good thing she has savings, then.
NTA Don’t give her any of your savings. $4k is NOT much money at all. Keep your head down, save up, and move out is my suggestion.
NTA.
By demanding it, *she* is the one treating *you* like a tenant (not like a daughter). She is showing you that her present greed outweighs your future.
When people show you their true colours, *believe them*.
NTA, but why did you show her your account? You need to disentangle yourself and move out.
kinda can’t believe the amount of comments acting like 19 is some crazy age to live with parents and not pay rent. my parents are poor and never asked me for a dime. she saw your account and saw a payday. if she thought maybe you should start paying rent she should have said so, but i think asking for half was telling on herself. NTA
” family helps family ” I’m so tired of reading this from fake posts.
Nta
It’s so weird to see the comments saying you should be paying rent and stuff. You’re in school. Parents are supposed to lead their children to a good future. My parents were not rich at all but always told us that we could live at home for free while we were in school
But it seems people think that a parents’ job stops at a random age instead of a growth
Where I live parents have to contribute as long as the child actually studies (not just party and fail). It’s even calculated in the loans and grants from the province
NTA. You’re 19 and in college.
Do not give her half. Her saying you can earn it back is ridiculous.
If you have to agree to sending her a small amount each month to smooth things over, so be it.
NTA. $4,000 at age 19 is not even enough to move out on your own with. If she wants you to pay rent she can negotiate that but just to give her $2000 right away? No. Damn.