okay so i (24m) moved back home temporarily after grad school while i save up for my own place. i’ve been in my childhood bedroom for like 4 months now.
my brother “tyler” (fake name, 19m) still lives at home and has the smaller bedroom. he just asked if we could switch rooms because mine is bigger and he wants more space for his gaming setup.
i said no because 1) i’m only here temporarily and don’t wanna move all my stuff twice and 2) this has been MY room since i was literally 8 years old. like all my memories are here lol.
now tyler is saying i’m being selfish because he actually lives here full time and i’m just “visiting.” my mom agrees with him and said it would be “the mature thing to do” since he’s gonna be here longer than me.
my dad doesn’t really care either way but said tyler has a point about living here permanently.
like broooooo…
i feel bad but also like… it’s my room?? idk AITA??
Info: how long is “temporarily?”
If you’re not going to live there for long, Tyler can wait.
NTA
You’re moving out shortly. He can wait a few more months then the big room is all his.
NAH. Your brother can have the larger room when you move out, but it doesn’t make sense to do a room switch while you’re still there.
NTA. Tyler should have taken the room while you were moved out. Now he gets to wait.
You say in the comments you’re only going to be there another three weeks. So, why is this an issue?
Does he know you’re not staying even another month?
Just tell him he can have the room when you move out in a few weeks.
(Unless you don’t want him to have the room at all, even when you move out, because of your “memories”)
NTA. if he wanted that room, he should have moved into it before you moved back. Since you are there only temporarily, he can wait until you leave and then move in there
Wait, you were away at school and your brother was home and he didn’t take your room then?
That was my take. Once you move out, it’s a free for all on the bedroom front and Tyler missed his window.
I do think Tyler had a point, but at this time, assuming OP is really out of the house soon, waiting won’t hurt. However, when OP moves, it should be with the understanding that “his room” won’t be there if he visits or returns and should pack with that in mind. Posters or art need to come down. Toys donated or sold or packed for storage. The room should be cleared for Tyler to move in.
INFO: Why didnt he take the room when you werent there? Does he ONLY want it because of his PC set up? I still dont think youre TA but still
NTA. He should have moved in while you were away at school. He had plenty of time.
NTA
If he wanted to switch, he should have asked *before* you moved back home
when my older one moved out – we gave her the heads up a couple of months in advance that she needed to be ready to switch rooms with her younger 15 year old prior to leaving for college -her college is far . She will always have a room in what is still her home – even after college – but whichever kid is left in the house on a daily basis gets the bigger room.
so why didn’t he take it while you were in college? doesn’t add up