I (17) have a group chat with a few friends (17, 18, and 19) in a Discord server, where we sort of just talk and post about he interests. One friend (who we’ll call V) made a message saying she didn’t like a piece of art. Coming from someone who liked said piece of media the art came from, I replied saying why she was being negative and why she couldn’t just ignore the post, and we agreed to disagreed shortly after.
A day later, another friend (who we’ll call M) responds to said piece of artwork saying he hates it as well. He then responds to my message saying if I didn’t like people talking about stuff like that I shouldn’t interact with said message in a very hostile way. I replied saying that the conversation was over at the time he replied and that there was no point in bringing it up again.
My use of a singular emoji must have tipped him off to the point he said he was blocking me "again". I asked what I did other than say that the situation was diffused and he said he would DM me. Another friend (who we’ll call R) asks us to not do this right now and I agreed. M replies to R’s message saying that he’s "getting this over with" and that "I shouldn’t be forced to like his ass anymore".
I check my DM’s to see M calling me "insufferable", saying I never want to listen to what anyone else has to say, bringing up a misunderstanding between us from a month ago and saying that I "feel like ragebait" at this point.
I’m autistic and have trouble navigating social situations most of the time. I told him that I didn’t mean to come across that way to anyone, and that if he told me then I would have stopped. His response to that is that "there are others that agree. goodbye". I try to message him again but he’s blocked me.
I agree that I have to be a better listener and that I am working on, but the way he came in hot and started insulting me was very jarring and somewhat hurtful to me since he has never shown any sort of disdain towards anyone. I posted a short apology in my channel saying I’ll be more mindful about how I act around the group, but I feel that his response was too much (especially when sending it to a minor) and that other people need to know. But I also don’t want to start any further drama or in-fighting between us. WIBTA?
ESH, this is all a lot of drama for no reason. V and M are both allowed to not like a piece of art that you like, and they’re allowed to say it. It’s not an attack on you, and shutting down all “negativity” can be harmful. But M is also being petty and mean. It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to pick a fight with you.
ESH People are allowed not to like a piece of art and say so, you should have just let your friend V express herself, That being said why “M’ needed to jump in and reset the drama when it was over with is beyond me. apologize to V, Let M have their tantrum and move on.
NTA these people don’t like you. They aren’t friends. They are rude. Immature. Toxic. Leave the chat, block them, find actual friends.
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NAH. yes, people are allowed to dislike things, and you could’ve not interacted at all, but i don’t think that makes you an asshole. what neurodivergent people don’t understand is that when people don’t clearly tell us something we do bothers them, we don’t have a way to guess it does. if we do it repeatedly, and it annoys you, tell us. we can’t read your mind and many of us are not good at reading subtle social cues.
YTA. The entire conflict started with you trying to police your friend’s behavior. If she doesn’t like the artwork, she can say so. You didn’t need to respond or chastise her for having an opinion. Just because you like something doesn’t mean everyone else has to be silent.
Your friend didn’t criticize the media that art came from. All she did was criticize one artwork and you reprimanded her for that. It’s pretty ridiculous.
Based on how everyone else reacted, you do this a lot and they’re tired of it. Why did you make the conflict get to the point of needing to “agree to disagree” because of a simply throwaway opinion?
You shut down V for having opinion. M saw it and felt that was enough and backed V up. R agreed with V but didn’t say anything because everyone in that group knows how you are and that you would react the way you did. That’s why R said “can we not do it right now?” If they agreed with you, they would’ve said so, but they didn’t.
It all comes back to you trying to control the conversation and in doing so trying to control your friends.
Also, why are you trying to hide behind being 17? What does you being a minor have to do with the conversation? Does that mean an 18-year-old can’t be frustrated with you and say so? It’s very manipulative of you to say “especially with sending it to a minor.”
He didn’t do anything sexual to you.
He didn’t say anything inappropriate.
He said you were insufferable and now that I’ve read you hiding behind being 17 years old, I have to agree with him.
17-19 is your age group.
I went to college at 17 and sat in classes with 17, 18, and 19-year-olds. At no point did I think if I argued with a 19-year-old over some artwork that I need to expose them and shame them in a group chat because I was a “minor.”
You’re looking more more like the asshole here.
Um…no:
>One friend (who we’ll call V) made a message saying she didn’t like a piece of art. Coming from someone who liked said piece of media the art came from, I replied saying why she was being negative and why she couldn’t just ignore the post,
If you’re going to share opinions, you don’t get to tell people not to share their opinions. That’s the first YTA.
>He then responds to my message saying if I didn’t like people talking about stuff like that I shouldn’t interact with said message in a very hostile way. I replied saying that the conversation was over at the time he replied
When you were called out on it, you tried to shut down discussion again. That’s the second YTA.
YTA for trying to police everyone else’s comments – and your autism has nothing to do with it.
ESH – they’re allowed to not like something that you like. Just as you are allowed to like something they dont.
Your comments towards V were unnecessary and Ms reaction and responses towards you were also unnecessary.
Yall are too young for this unnecessary drama I’d split off and find less difficult friends.
ESH. You both need to log off, drink water, and remember this was about fanart. Not international diplomacy.
No sorry YTA here. You are the one starting drama.
Art is something thar is meant to be discussed. Friend 1 saying they don’t like it isn’t rude or hostile. Your response was. You started that argument. Friend 2 was probably too harsh in snapping back (key work back because you started it) but I’d wonder is it resentment built up from past experiences – blocking you again?
You agreed to end it then sent an emoji related to it.
You keep starting drama
This should be on R/teenagedrama. If there isn’t such a reddit, there should be. YTA