My mom took me to Las Vegas for my birthday. She planned the trip herself, and most of the activities were things she wanted to do, but I went along with it and tried to be appreciative.
At one point, we went to a Wizard of Oz experience. During part of it, fake apples fall from above and people grab them. I caught one and was excited. My mom immediately snatched it out of my hands, called me a “selfish bitch,” and said I ruined her trip. Then she stormed off into a crowd of hundreds of people, leaving me alone.
Later that night, she had booked a Dance show. Before it started, I mentioned that if they asked for volunteers, I’d love to go on stage since it was my birthday. When they came to pick someone, she pushed past me, told them it was her daughter’s birthday, and went up instead.
I didn’t make a scene, but afterward I told her I was hurt and felt like she made the trip about herself. She says she did nothing wrong and that I’m overreacting and being ungrateful because she paid for the trip.
I’m conflicted because she did spend the money and technically didn’t stop me from enjoying anything but I feel like she overshadowed me and insulted me on my birthday.
AITA for feeling hurt and bringing it up?
Paying for the trip doesn’t give her a license to humiliate you. A gift with strings attached isn’t a gift. It’s control.
The wild part is she’s acting like you’re the problem for noticing. No. You’re upset because she made your birthday about her, insulted you, and then tried to gaslight you into gratitude.
NTA
She absolutely made the trip for herself and you just got to tag along.
This why I travel solo.
OP- you are NTA. Your mother acted so selfishly. My heart breaks for you. Is she like this all the time? How old are you? Do you live with her?
i’m 27 and moved away to a different state as soon as i went to college and never came back. i try to hold onto hope that she’d change. but it never changes. it’s always been this way.
NTA, but now you know what traveling with her is like so don’t travel with her anymore.
NTA
I remember a few years ago my dad wanted to take me out for my birthday.
He was like hey lets go out for your birthday!
What why?
Then he made me carry pipes. When I was done carrying pipes he decided he wanted to take me out to eat. I wasn’t hungry, actually all that moving around 1 hour away from home made me nauseous.
Well you don’t have to eat but I am!
Should have just stayed home that day. I hate birthdays.
NTA if anyone asks what you did for your birthday say your mother went to Vegas and allowed you to tag along as long as all the attention was on her
\-My mom immediately snatched it out of my hands, called me a “selfish bitch,” and said I ruined her trip. Then she stormed off into a crowd of hundreds of people, leaving me alone.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think you are going to be able to reason with anyone this deep down selfish. You are only ever going to be able to meet her where she is. NTA
NTA. You’ve said in some replies that this is normal for your mom… when she shows you who she is like this, trust that her actions are showing you how little she wants to change.
NTA, did this happen recently?
Show this thread to your mom:
Mom, YTA. Next time book a trip with friends for yourself. Your behavior was childish and insulting to the birthday girl. Be a better mother!
Op: NTA. Happy belated birthday.
Sorry my dear, but Mom is a narcissist. Read up on it to learn how to cope with it and protect your energy. Start with “gray rock”🪨
You’re NTA. Your mom sounds like an overgrown toddler who missed her nap.