My younger brother Jake is in his mid twenties. We’ve always been close but he’s usually a reckless person. Always getting tickets for speeding, He’s lost his license before, Had two accidents in the last three years which were both his fault.
Last month he totaled his car. He was over speeding as usual and had a terrible crash trying to avoid running into other cars. Nobody was hurt but his car was done. He’s been taking the bus to work since then but his license is still good for now.
Last week he asked to borrow my car for the weekend. Said he wanted to drive to see a girl he’s been talking to in another state. About 4 hours each way.
I told him I can’t help. Just said I’m not comfortable with him driving my car that far when he has a history of crashing.
He got mad. Said he’s changed. That was months ago and He needs this trip to clear his head and work has been stressful. Said I’m treating him like a criminal lol.
I told him it’s not personal. It’s my only car. I need it for work Monday. If something happens I’m screwed.
He said nothing will happen. I said you don’t know that. Nobody plans to crash.
He hung up on me. Next my mother is calling to settle disputes. Told her there was no issues and I’m not letting him drive my car. She kept insisting. She asked if I could drop him off. I called Jake to ask if he’s cool with that but he won’t pick up. My mom called him herself to tell him and he said no. He didn’t want to give his girl that impression apparently and would rather find other means. They won’t dare tell my dad about this. He doesn’t even let Jake drive his old truck.
The thing now is that my mom thinks I should take the responsibility of apologizing and getting in better terms with Jake. He didn’t get what he wanted so I have to compensate with an apology.
AITA for protecting my car?
This mf needs to not be driving ANY car
NTA. Especially cause he’s given you plenty of reasons to be worried about his driving skills. I’m surprised your mom is on his side, I would be more worried about his safety, than about him being butthurt.
NTA. Your mom should let him use hers (if possible) since she is so invested.
He sounds like an absolute menace.
He has no business behind the wheel, much less *your* wheel.
You are absolutely NTA – ask your mother why Jake can’t drive your dad’s old truck. (Yes, push that.)
Or better yet, next time mom tries to harass you into changing your mind, say “Let’s ask Dad what he thinks, shall we?”
NTA. Your brother has proven himself to be an unsafe driver. You’re being perfectly rational by refusing to loan him your vehicle. Who knows, he might not walk away from his next wreck.
Tell your mom that, if it matters that much to her, she should feel free to loan him HER car.
So NTA. Why doesnt Mom give up her car if she thinks there’s no issue with him driving? Why doesnt he go rent a car? Why doesnt he ask a friend? You aren’t his only option so dont let your Mom make you think so.
NTA. Tell your dad so he can yell at your brother since he had the gall to weaponize your mom.
NTA and you two are too old to have your mom settling your disputes. After all, I didn’t hear you mention about how her she’d let Jake use her car. Sounds like Jake needs to figure it out. Why don’t you suggest all of you have a sit-down and see what your dad thinks? Oh–they don’t want that? Good. Maybe they’ll leave you alone after you mention it, then. Keep your keys away from anywhere Jake can get them and if he does end up taking your vehicle, call the cops.
Absolutely NTA
There are consequences to his actions, and a couple of months isn’t enough time to show or prove he’s changed
Mom can rent him a car if it’s that urgent. You don’t need the liability and damages otherwise
NTA. And you might want to point out to his enabler, your mother, that one of these days he might kill himself with his reckless driving. Your brother should not be behind the wheel of any car and definitely not yours.
Or kill some innocent driver.
NTA, if he is that desperate then rent a car.
LOL, NTA. Wow, your brother has a LOT of nerve asking for your car. Oh, and your mother is an asshole for sticking her nose in. Let him drive her freaking car.