I’m 23F, at a small gathering, a group of friends were trying to figure out why something they planned didn’t work out. I realized pretty quickly what the issue was, because I’d dealt with the same thing before. No one asked me directly, though, and the conversation moved on without a clear conclusion. Later that night, one person found out I knew the reason and asked why I didn’t say anything earlier. I told them no one asked, and I didn’t want to come off as a know it all or derail the discussion. They said it would’ve saved everyone time and that staying quiet was kind of unhelpful. I genuinely wasn’t trying to be difficult or smug I just didn’t think it was my place to jump in uninvited. Still, things would’ve gone more smoothly if I had spoken up.
AITA for keeping quiet when I wasn’t asked, even though I knew the answer?
INFO: Were you still involved in the conversation? Like standing in or near the circle, interacting with them otherwise?
If so, I wouldn’t call you an asshole, but it’s odd and a bit rude that you wouldn’t offer advice.
Question: Was this your group of friends, or were they strangers you were overhearing?
You refer to one of them as a “person” not a “friend.”
If so, I can sort of understand not feeling comfortable jumping into their conversation with an answer.
However, doing so politely may have earned you some new friends. Next time, quietly add yourself to the conversation and offer the solution. You won’t come off as a know-it-all if you have the right attitude, only as someone who wants to help.
NTA because I think you honestly weren’t sure what to do.
I wish that you had given us the exact details of the issue, but with what you’ve written, I would say YTA. Why wouldn’t you want to help?
Not enough info / context provided to give a fair judgement imo
NTA but this is more about social skills than being right or wrong. jumping into conversations with helpful info isnt being a know it all, its just being helpful. next time just say it, nobody’s gonna be mad you solved their problem
You’ve given us way too much detail about what the situation is, please be more vague about it
It’s so mysterious that I’m not even sure if the group of friends are OP’s friends or some randos sitting close by
Obviously they were trying to figure out how to divide the 8 pizza slices evenly among 7 people. They thought they needed to cut the last slice into 1cm slivers but OP knew it was really 1.1cm slivers.
That’s what I’m going with at least.
INFO: Were these strangers, acquaintances, friends? Was the subject particularly emotional or personal?
INFO. hard to judge without knowing how long they struggled or how serious it was. But honestly, sharing helpful info with friends isnt being a know it all, its just being a friend. dont overthink it
NAH.
I suspect that this group, or people in it, have in the past not asked for or valued your opinion, and that may be why you kept quiet.
And further, if you had heard their plans in advance, and you said something like “Oh, don’t forget to \[XYZ\]” they might have said “of course”, then laughed at your mistake even as they took your advice.
You should trust yourself as to when and whether to interject your opinion. What happened was in the past and they were discussing why. So it’s not like your information would have helped them be successful in this case, but only to shorten their postmortem discussion.
There’s a lot of missing context which usually means OP is being vague to not look too bad. So for now YTA. How were they supposed to know OP knew enough to be asked about it? Was she a part or the conversation or just near enough to listen in? Are they actually friends? If so, why wouldn’t she want to help? And how did the other person found out she knew the answer all along?
info
What info didn’t you share? Why didn’t you share? You didn’t want to imterrupt & were afraid theu’d see you as a know it all? Have they said you’be acted like a know it all around them at any other time?
Not exactly sure the full dynamic from the little info here but it’s looking like YTA. I don’t see why, when you’re there in the conversation, why you would need to be directly asked to get involved.
If they asked “anyone want an ice cream” would you need them to go “op do you want one?