This happened a few years ago but has been bugging me ever since. I’m still not entirely sure I made the right call, and I honestly think I might’ve ruined some poor kid’s life.
When I was a Sophomore in high school, I got the opportunity to go to a week-long summer camp at a prestigious nearby college. The camp was mostly kids who really enjoyed the subject we were there for, and was a really exciting time since we got to actually stay in the dorms and study in some of the classrooms at this college which many of us dreamed to attend.
Overall, my time there was great, but unfortunately I got paired with 2 of some incredibly terrible roommates. It was clear from the first day that I met them that they really had no interest in attending the camp, and that they were way too immature to be left as unattended as we were for the week.
During the first few nights, I could manage staying with them fairly easily. They had a few other kids in our room and played some loud music but went to bed early so I was able to sleep well.
However, over the next couple nights, they became insufferable. They would regularly stay up well late into the night and essentially used our dorm as a party space for them and their friends. It also turned out that one of them brought a bottle of hard liquor in their bag which they had stolen from their parents, and had also met someone outside of the campus who they had been purchasing vapes from.
One night, where they were sharing the vapes and alcohol among a group of about 5-6 other people, and refused to move to another room when I asked them to since I had to be up early the next morning and didn’t want to get in trouble for being an overall nuisance, I decided to stop them in their tracks and notified the organizers of the camp of what they were up to and yelled at them to get everyone out of the room.
The organizers came in the room the next morning, but by then my roommates had enough time to dispose of the vapes and alcohol so they didn’t find anything incriminating. They also asked me to go up to the dean’s office to make a statement, to which I obliged. When I got back to my room,
My roommates and all of their belongings were completely gone, and I was informed that they had found something (They didn’t tell me what) that they were able to use against them to remove them from the program.
I didn’t see them again after that day, but I did get an extremely angry message from one of them a couple days later, which I didn’t respond to. I also heard later that one of them lived out of state, so their parents had to fly out early and pick them up.
AITA for snitching on my roommates? I didn’t want to get in trouble with them and possibly revoke my chance of getting into this university, but they never asked or forced me to participate in anything they were doing, and they were overall pretty solid people, so I still don’t feel great about what I did.
NTA, this is a perfect FAFO situation… I am curious how old you all were though
Around 14-15. It was the summer going into our Sophomore year, so well below the legal drinking and smoking age lol
Oh yea even more NTA then
A very similar thing happened when I was at high school, we were 13-14 at the time
NTA, they fucked around and found out.
YOU didn’t get them thrown out, their own behaviours did: you quite rightly didn’t want to be involved with/associated with their behaviours and asked them to move, they declined.
Too many people are too quick to shout “snitching” about what is actually serious shit (under age drinking and vaping, and possibly illegal substances found) that needs reporting. It’s only “snitching” when it’s petty shit that doesn’t affect you. Their behaviours did and you were right to go to the organisers.
Look at it this way: you may actually have done them a favour by them learning a lesson that will stand them in good stead later …
NTA. They fucked around and found out. Absolutely NTA and when they get older they will probably realise that as well.
NTA.
But an observation:
*I decided to stop them in their tracks and notified the organizers of the camp of what they were up to and yelled at them to get everyone out of the room. The organizers came in the room* ***the next morning***
This camp sounds incredibly badly organized.
If I were a parent with a son or daughter at this camp, I would be incandescent with rage that the camp supervisors, when told that minors were drinking hard liquor and vaping RIGHT THAT MINUTE, did nothing at all about it until the next morning. The supervisors are in loco parentis. It is literally their job and their responsibility to intervene then and there.
And a life lesson that you can learn from this experience:
*I did get an extremely angry message from one of them a couple days later, which I didn’t respond to.*
People are far too casual about exchanging contact details. You can make life a lot easier for yourself if you don’t give your contact details to people you barely know. Just because they ask, doesn’t mean you have to.
Wait until you know the person a bit better and decide they’re someone you would like as a friend. You surely must have worked out really early on that these roommates did NOT fall into that category, so I can only assumed you exchanged contact details on the first or second day. Bad move. You should have waited until the end of the week. Giving your contact details any earlier than that doesn’t make you the asshole, but it wasn’t a smart move.
They asked me if it needed to be resolved immediately and I said it didn’t. They were also dealing with another problem at the same time so their attention was kind of scattered.
I also didn’t directly give anyone my contact info at the camp. Everything was organized via Discord so people could freely message each other whenever they needed to.
*They asked me if it needed to be resolved immediately and I said it didn’t.*
**They shouldn’t have asked you that.** The responsibility for deciding how serious a situation is should NEVER be placed on the shoulders of a child of 14 or 15, which is what you said you were at the time.
And when they did ask you, it was foolish of you to say no. But I’ll give you a pass because you were very young.
*They were also dealing with another problem at the same time so their attention was kind of scattered.*
No excuse. It’s their JOB! Even if there are multiple crises, you drop everything and deal with them in order of urgency until they’re resolved. You don’t deal with one problem, then toddle off to bed and think “The rest can wait until morning”. My point stands.
*I also didn’t directly give anyone my contact info at the camp. Everything was organized via Discord so people could freely message each other whenever they needed to.*
Then that’s another thing that can be sheeted home to shitty organization, because allowing kids to have everyone else’s contact details by default, where they can send private messages to other kids they barely even know, is creating an environment which makes harassment possible, or worse.
I’d be less bothered if everything were public and the supervisors were monitoring all discussions, but clearly this student was able to send you a private message. S/he should never have been given the ability to do that.
If I were a parent with a child at this camp, I’d be complaining about that too. *Everyone* deserves control over who gets to have their contact details and who can message them privately.
Even 14 year olds.
*Especially* 14 year olds.
It’s pretty easy to find someone on social media with very little information. That kid would have just messaged him on Instagram or elsewhere.
Not if we teach our young people how to protect their privacy rather than just letting them loose.
Even if someone knows my real name, they will not find me anywhere on social media. I do have accounts, but they either contain only my first name or a pseudonym, have privacy settings that are locked down very tightly, or both.
NTA
They were vaping around you and were disruptive so they did force you to participate. Don’t worry about other people’s lives, these people were well on their way to making an awful life for themselves.
NTA. These immature hedonists can try again later or not. It’s not your fault these kids wasted the opportunity.