Two days ago in the evening, my friend’s father passed away. I found out about it the next morning. I did not message my friend or say anything to them for the entire day.
The next day at school, another friend asked me why I didn’t go to the funeral. I told them I didn’t know there had been a funeral. They then asked me if I had at least offered my condolences, and I said no.
After that conversation, they got upset with me and stopped talking to me. Later that same day, I spoke to the friend whose father had passed away and offered my condolences. They thanked me, but the other friend is still not talking to me.
So, AITA for not messaging my friend for a day after their father passed away?
Okay I’ve to go with YTA
People who aren’t very sick don’t die and be buried the next day so your time line isn’t adding up. Funerals take a while to plan.
I also don’t see why you couldn’t so much as send a text when your firemds father just died?
Next day funerals still happen, especially in specific religious cultures that require it.
And if someone was ill already, it would have been something they had already planned for before the individual passed.
There are religions and cultures where the funeral must happen within 24 hours of death.
If they were Jewish the time-line would work because they are buried within 24 hours.
(some) Muslims do funerals within 24 hours sometimes. It’s not weird to have a fast one. But it is strange OP just decided it wasn’t important to text
It’s very rare for a funeral in my country to not happen within 24h, usually only if the body needs to be examined. I do agree op should’ve sent a condolences text when they found out though.
Depends where you are. It’s common in Spain for the funeral to be the day after the death, maybe two days after.
Agree with YTA but I must disagree in many cultures (mine included) the funeral happens immediately the next day after passing (sometimes even same day if possible), when I had a family member pass away unexpectedly the service was exactly 24 hours after their passing and we managed to do that while living in a country where such a fast process isn’t the norm
YTA, not sure why you think you wouldn’t be
INFO – why didn’t you send them a message
I’m assuming the reason you didn’t immediately reach out was because you wanted to give your friend space to grief with their family? In which case I say NAH for not immediately reaching out but like everyone else said the timeline doesn’t really line up.
YTA if this person is actually your friend vs acquaintance
I’ve been widowed twice. It’s a horrible time in life/mentally. Some people called texted immediately, some didn’t ever say anything, just sort of disappeared.
It didn’t bother me one way or another. I had things to do, decisions to make, and Other’n stuff on my mind.
However, I know I don’t have the same response to death as most Americans. I’ve seen a little t and find it mostly just another transition
YTA. One on my best friends did this to me and is no longer a friend.