Hi guys so this isn’t a very complicated story and it happened very recently I suppose, she was very vehement/adamant that I eat her dinner which was leftovers. I didn’t like the dinner and my mom is a very good cook and has culinary experience so I’m sure it’s just an individualistic thing but I don’t like it. I told her that and she became sad and said I didn’t appreciate anything she did for me. I told her that it wasn’t her cooking and it was probably just me but she became VERY saddened and my step father is saying I need to apologize. I recognize it’s probably the best thing to just apologize but I’ll know she’ll make me eat it if I do and I seriously disdain it. AITA?
NTA
My wife is a great cook, sometimes I don’t like what she made. She would rather me be honest and say I don’t like something, than eat it just to not hurt her feelings. Most times she says it wasn’t her best effort either. We laugh and get something else.
You did nothing wrong by being honest, and you tried to be nice about it.
NTA, my husband is a great cook but I dont like everything he makes 🤷🏼♀️
NTA. It’s unfair of her to jump from you not liking a meal to you being unappreciative of “anything.” That’s childish.
Often, things we “don’t like” is our body’s way of keeping us from eating things we are allergic to or have sensitivities towards.
Also, you’re entitled to the autonomy of eating or not eating as you like (within normal reason.)
These are the sort of things that can cause lifelong food/eating issues.
You can apologize for hurting her feelings but I wouldn’t eat it. Maybe say “I like X but I think YZ isn’t sitting well for me.”
Like It’s the ingredients, not her use of them.
NTA “I appreciate you cooking for me but it is okay to have differing tastes. I apologize for hurting your feelings, as that wasn’t my intention.”
You have nothing to apologize for, but I need more context. Do you live with your Mom? You said it was leftovers, so you wouldn’t have eaten it the first time either, and if you’re just visiting, why is she insisting you eat?
I live with her, my mom is 62 she’s very traditionalist and believes that what she cooks people should eat no matter what
Info
Did you specifically say “your cooking is bad” or did you tell her you didn’t like the dish she cooked?
Telling her that her cooking is bad is an insult to her effort and skill. Saying you don’t like a particular dish is just stating a preference.
NTA – my wife and I both love cooking and have been married nearly 35 years … they aren’t all winners! You just have to figure out how to say it politely.
Last night we were cooking pea soup for dinner and our older son & fiancé stopped by … he was never a fan of pea soup, so while we offered it we knew he probably wouldn’t want any. But we offered (polite) and he said that he just wasn’t a fan of pea soup (polite). And it is all good.
I don’t know how old you are, but it sounds like you’re at least old enough to maybe have grabbed a meal with a friend before coming home, or maybe not necessarily being hungry on a particular night.
I think you need to sit down with your mom and just explained that there may be days that you’re not interested in dinner, and ask her how she would like you to handle it. Would he like you to text her and tell her you’re not coming home for dinner? Part of her being upset is, haven’t gone to the trouble of preparing the dinner for you to say you don’t want it. If you let her know not to prepare anything for you, then you won’t have wasted her time.
YTA Apologize to your mom.
I am a very good cook. In the last years 3, I have been sick and my husband started cooking. When my kids came for Christmas, I made a soup that had very flat taste. They told me I tasted it and agreed. We all laughed and went to the next course.
This will be a souvenir that we can all talk about.
Info – did she ask? I generally find that if I don’t like something unless someone asks how it was I just say ‘thank you’ and help clear the table once done. It also definitely depends how you worded it.
Offer to cook a meal for her which you insist she eat.