So a couple days ago my girl and I were celebrating and she told me she made me chocolates as a gift. She was super excited about it, saying she spent hours on them. She works a little waitress job so she doesn’t have a ton of money so I didn’t mind her cheaping out a bit compared to what I got her. I thought it was sweet that she tried. I didn’t even know she knew how to make sweets and stuff because she always says she can barely cook.
Anyway, I asked her how she learned how to make it and it turns out she just melted pre-made chocolate and poured it into molds. She didn’t even make any of the fillings herself either, she got store bought caramel and fruit spread and stuff. Literally all of it was premade. She barely put in any effort at all and then she was all proud of herself. Usually I try to let things go because she’s so sensitive to criticism but it just really irritated me that she tricked me like that, so I called her out on lying about it.
She got upset and said she did make them because she "put in so much effort". Halfway through arguing with me about if it’s ok to lie to me or not she just starts texting someone and saying she doesn’t want to argue any more.
She ended up getting her sister to come pick her up and she’s been hanging out with her instead of me for the past two days. Her sister called me a dick on her way out too, which kinda makes me think my girl lied to her also about "making" them otherwise I don’t know why she’d be mad at me. At first I was really sure that I was right, but maybe I need to be more forgiving of it? Like at the end of the day, I know she’s not a great cook so maybe I should’ve expected it not to actually be from scratch. She’s usually really sweet and texts me a lot but she hasn’t been talking to me much the past couple days so I’m starting to feel like maybe I overreacted.
TL;DR: She claimed she made me chocolates when she just melted pre-made stuff and assembled them. I confronted her, her sister called me a dick, and now I’m questioning if I overreacted.
Edit for clarity: you guys are really upset about the way I talk and I just wanted to address it. She knows I call her my girl, she calls me her dude, she calls it a little waitress job too because it’s basically just a side gig. How I talk is not really the problem at all and I think it’s strange you all are so focused on it.
Anyway, some others said my age and what I got her matters so I’m 32 and I got her some old figurines she collects.
Also, just to clarify, you guys seem to think she put a lot more effort into this than it sounded like she did from her explanation. I’m seeing people talking about thermometers and how hard it is to make chocolate melt but she literally only used the microwave to melt it and she doesn’t even own a kitchen thermometer so I doubt she used one. Maybe everyone just isn’t understanding when I say she’s got really little experience cooking and didn’t seem to put much effort into these. She literally just melted it in the microwave, poured it into molds, and then put stuff she bought inside of it. That doesn’t even sound like what you guys are saying "homemade" chocolates are done like. Some people have said I should make my own to see how hard it is and I think I might because what you’re all describing actually sounds hard, unlike what she did with the microwave and everything.
YTA, that’s literally how you make homemade chocolate. I was expecting you to say someone else had melted the chocolates and poured it. This gift would have taken at minimum an hour for her to make. You owe her a huge apology.
I made little heart shaped brownies dipped in pink white chocolate. I couldn’t find a cutter anywhere so I found a little glass heart, used a tooth lick to “trace” them out,cut them with a lil knife and then dipped them in the chocolate with a lil 🧚🏼♀️of fancy fairy glitter.
They looked terrible, and they took at least 6 hours (I was also making dinner) but I’d be damned if my husband said I “didn’t make them” since everything was premade.
What does OP expect her to do? Make CHOCOLATE from fucking scratch? He doesn’t even deserve a scratch made fart
YTA. Do you expect her to ferment cocoa beans, would that satisfy you?
>she told me she made me chocolates as a gift
>she just melted pre-made chocolate and poured it into molds
Sounds like she did make you something.
Words to the wise: when your gf makes you a gift for Valentine’s, don’t call her a liar and start a fight.
YTA
My guy, your girlfriend DID make those chocolates, and I have no idea how you think she didn’t? She melted chocolate, poured it into molds, turned out the excess chocolate (which can be tricky to do), used a variety of fillings, and gave them to you! What exactly did you want her to do instead? YTA
Lol I cannot believe this is real, so glad this kind of love has never found me. What did you expect her to have done? Traveled to the Ivory Coast to pick cacao beans and milk a cow personally herself to create chocolate from scratch?
YTA and I threw up in my mouth three separate times before I got to the end of the 1st paragraph.
“little waitress job”?
“I didn’t mind her cheaping out”?
“it was sweet that she tried”?
If you feel this way about her, what’s the point of being in a relationship? I’d hate to be with someone who spoke about me with this much condescension, so hopefully she’s your ex now and you don’t have to worry about gifts that aren’t up to your standards anymore.
YTA and “she works a little waitress job” was all I needed to hear.
Me too. “A little waitress job” and “she’s not a great cook” – just so many throwaway putdowns. This guy hates women
YTA. She did not lie, it isnt her fault you misunderstood her. She did make you something, and I’m sure it did take quite some time. She thought about what kind of chocolates you would like and bought good ingredients. It’s not easy to get the temperature right when you work with chocolate, otherwise it won’t look good. Plus, she isn’t used to doing things in the kitchen, which makes this even harder. Have some grace with that sweet woman.
YTA. How old are you? I’m going to assume high school because that’s the only way your reaction is a little bit excusable because maybe you don’t know better yet.
“Took credit for something she didn’t really do” – she did do something for you. Molds cost money, candy melting materials cost money, time and effort have value and melting and filling those molds in a huge pain in the ass. I’ve done it before. It’s also insanely messy so there’s additional labor post clean up. She was proud of the amount of effort she put in and she should have been and you’re over here acting like she’s less and you’re more.
“Cheaping out compared to what I got her”. Interesting that you’d didn’t share what we can only assume was some amazing and grand plan since you’re yucking her yum so hard. What did you do for her?
Loving and showing you care about someone very rarely has anything to do with the money spent. Your values are different and your girlfriend deserves to be with someone who appreciates her effort.
Edited to add after this comment from OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/XsUfOZXnS0
OP is 32… 32.
Jesus. Dude, just take the L already. Your edits and comments make this whole thing worse not better.
I worked for a celebrity chef in 2012. The Confiseur that worked in the kitchen used a microwave because you can control the temperature better than a double boiler. Even melting chocolate from a grocery store bought package has to be watched like a hawk the entire time. Even a second or two too long and you’ve burnt it. I’ve done molds before too; it’s a huge pain and then you have to wait the precise correct time to let that first layer in the mold set just enough so you can add the filling, then let the filling layer set until layer one is almost solid, then you complete the chocolate with your final layer of melted chocolate. You don’t melt chocolate or do this only once. You do it two or three times per flavor minimum.
The fact that you cannot just apologize to your girl is one thing, but you’re so convinced that you’re right (you’re not) that you are trying to further convince internet strangers that she is somehow also bamboozling us too. You think we don’t understand. We understand. You are the only person here that doesn’t get it. You’re not making any effort to educate yourself otherwise because you were really hoping that you’d have a link to share with “your girl” that Reddit agrees with you. We don’t. She tried something new and tried to perform an act of service outside of her comfort zone for you for Valentine’s Day. She was excited to tell you about it. Not only did you completely ignore that, but then you essentially rolled your eyes at her excitement and tried to poke holes in her effort.
My husband just said you should make the exact same thing for her and then report back regarding the amount of effort. Though considering how hard you’re trying to be right it would be difficult to trust you as a reliable narrator.
Dude, my GF knows how you feel.
For Valentine’s Day I made her a prime rib roast with garlic mash and baby carrots.
The problem is, I didn’t raise the cow, butcher it and then prepare the roast. Instead, I bought it from the store and cooked it.
And that’s not all!
I didn’t grow the potatoes, the garlic, or the carrots. She got mad that I bought them, too!
And don’t get me started about the dishes. Those came from Ikea!
All I did was spend two hours prepping, cooking, serving and cleaning.
What a knob I am!
…YTA, man.
>And don’t get me started about the dishes. Those came from Ikea!
How lazy can you be?! Couldn’t even bother to make his on dishes from clay… smh my head…
YTA. And, condescending much? “my girl”, “little waitress job”?