I work in an administrative office at a university. A former student employee, “John,” used to work in our department but graduated. He now has a different job at the same university, but it’s remote and based out of another building. He has no work reason to be in our building anymore.
Despite that, he still comes into our building frequently and spends time in the office areas talking to people.
A couple weeks ago, I asked my coworker “Jane” why he was still around so much. She told me (in writing) that he has no reason to be there, that he’s there almost every day, and that it was annoying because he just comes in and bothers people and sent the crying emoji.
Recently, I was using a single-occupancy restroom with the door locked. While I was inside, John tried to open the door. Then, while I was still in there, he loudly said something like “this bathroom is never free.” He said it loud enough that I could clearly hear it from inside the restroom.
When I came out, he was still right there. I looked directly at him and said, “It’s free now,” and walked away. The whole interaction made me uncomfortable, especially since he doesn’t even work in our building.
I reported it to my supervisor because I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone who doesn’t work there to be lingering around office spaces and attempting to open restroom doors.
However, when my supervisor spoke to Jane about it, Jane apparently downplayed it and said it wasn’t that bad and that she could just make him leave if needed. This confused and frustrated me because she had previously told me directly that he was there almost every day and had no reason to be there.
Now I feel like I may look like I overreacted, but from my perspective, it’s uncomfortable having someone who doesn’t work in our building lingering around regularly and attempting to enter an occupied restroom.
AITA for reporting it?
ESH – except for Jane.
John is slightly the AH for hanging around so often and distracting people from their work (but I can’t blame him if no one has told him!)
Your a bigger AH for trying to throw Jane under the bus to get your complaint heard. If you have a problem with it – use your big-kid voice and speak up for yourself instead of creating a “Jane thinks…” kind of situation.
Where did it say OP threw Jane under the bus? It says they went to their supervisor. The supervisor also spoke to Jane so it’s possible OP said other people have also noticed this guy loitering, but I’d hardly call that “throwing Jane under the bus.”
The implication I got given OP filed the complaint and the supervisor interviewed “Jane” about it makes me assume OP cited “Jane” in her complaint.
Which, given it sounds like “Jane” was just commiserating with a frustrated co-worker in the email, would be throwing her under the bus.
I think it’s something about how OP collected text evidence from jane, then moved from telling the supervisor *directly* to Jane and how she “apparently downplayed it”
Like – if it’s a real issue, OP should be able to make that point themselves without having to pull other parties into this.
Without further context, YTA.
Every university I ever attended, most buildings are essentially open to students-staff, and you said “John” still works for the university, even if it’s in another building. Who’s “Jane” to this person? Why would she be the arbiter of whether he should or should not be there?
The bathroom anecdote seems completely innocuous if you look at it from his perspective. Having worked at a school that had two staff, single-use bathrooms for an entire wing of the building, it *was* frustrating.
Seems like you’re fixating; maybe he comes around when he’s on break to talk to other staff members on break. Maybe his new position requires he talk to staff members in other buildings. Regardless, it doesn’t seem like it’s your business.
Staff areas in any open building are restricted to staff. Just because you’re staff in one department doesn’t mean you have access to other departments, if it’s not part of your job.
Just try getting into the legal or accounting offices if your job has nothing to do with those departments, and watch how fast security comes to pay you a visit.
YTA this is such a petty situation and his presence has absolutely no bearing on you. Presumably you all work for the same employer, it’s not uncommon for colleagues to keep in touch. All this and bringing Jane into it why, because he wanted to go to the bathroom while you were using it? Stop making drama and get some work done.
Unless the restroom thing has happened more than once, YTA. I’ll be honest, remembering my own days working at the university, the admin building always had the nicest bathrooms, and there were days I absolutely made the trek over to use the nice ones instead of the science building bathrooms. Does your university give the admin building better toilet paper? Mine did.
He’s not actually bothering you, right? You’re not one of the people he’s talking to, and if his presence alone is going to be an issue, those are the people who need to complain. It might just be that the people John considers his work “friends” are the people in your department, and that’s why he’s coming over so often. You’re the watercooler he wants to talk at, not his new position.
You also definitely misread Jane’s email. The crying emoji in that email was not a cry for help there. Certainly she might agree with you that his hanging around is weird, but if it’s not bothersome… she could have been venting. Leave it to the people who are actually being bothered to complain if they want to.
YTA. He works in a building on the same grounds that you do. He is probably visiting his friends and if you aren’t one of them, why do you care? He clearly has access to the building, isn’t breaking any rules or laws and this doesn’t impact you.
As for the bathroom, unless it has an indicator on the outside of the door to show it’s occupied, how else was he supposed to know without trying the door?
You’re uncomfortable he tried to use a single occupancy bathroom? How else does one check if it’s in use other than trying the door…. YTA for sure.
That part took me outttttttt. How is that even an issue? That kind of thing happens all the time with single occupancy bathrooms.
But the OPs whole issue is such a nothingburger. He still works for the university and likely is visiting old colleagues and friends or thinks he is. OP is genuinely creating an issue where there is none because they seemingly are at BEC level with “John”.
YTA it’s appropriate to bring up that a worker from another department is distracting but trying a bathroom door that’s locked and commenting that it’s never open is a nothing burger as written. John needs some professional guidance. Jane has learned not to vent trivial matters to you. Hopefully you learn something too
YTA. He still works for the university. He knows people on your building. You are going out of your way to make this guy into a creep based on nothing. Would you have this strong of a reaction if a female that used to work there was still coming around? Is there something about John that you might have an unconscious bias around? You seem to be way over reacting.
YTA your coworkers must love you….