Me (16) My dad offered my room to my cousins so their baby could be changed there. At first I thought they were joking. There’s no way they were actually going to change a baby on my bed. I even fake-laughed because it seemed ridiculous.
Then the baby peed all over my mattress topper. Not a little, a lot. I got grossed out and angry. It’s my bed. I took the topper out to throw it away so I could deal with it (a 3 in thick foam topper) , and my dad yelled at me for making people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
I was calming down in the bathroom to avoid making a scene, and I asked him over iMessage to get me a new topper and sheets. He left me on read. Later, my stepmom turned it into a lecture about me “always having an attitude.” When my cousins left, my dad yelled at me again, and my stepmom butted in, saying I’m constantly like this even though I avoid any interaction with her. She twists my words, finds problems in everything I do, and overall is just a dick.
This happens all the time. My parents double-team me, break my boundaries, and make everything about me being a problem. I try to stay in my room, keep to myself, avoid fights, and I’m still the problem. I pretty much paid for everything in my room.
Am I wrong for not wanting baby pee in my bed? For wanting my room to feel like my space? I just feel dismissed and blamed and like no one cares that they were in the wrong.
NTA, there’s a reason dad didn’t offer his own bed. I don’t understand how people get so nonchalant about this when they have babies. Even with our babies we never fathomed to risk such a scenario. The “nastiest” we were was we had a pee pad under our ottoman cover and would sometimes do changes on the ottoman if going upstairs to the changing table wasn’t feasible.
They couldn’t pay me to have done this to you
NTA, parents could offer their own bed. It is normal to change a baby on a bed or anywhere but usually with a changing mat or something to keep things tidy. Like unless it’s a newborn boy and they haven’t figured out the technique yet then they should be able to change it without the bed getting soaked!
Why not just doing it on the floor??
I don’t understand why the cousin didn’t have a changing mat, and how the baby peed on your mattress topper which is typically below sheets and blankets. Potential holes in your story aside, it’s fair enough to be annoyed at a baby peeing on your bed but also it’s life and yes you have an attitude.
Your sheets and topper can be washed, you don’t need new ones. There’s a balance here where yes you deserve your own space, but also have to be realistic about the fact you live in a family in your parents’ house so you’re not going to get your own way all the time. If you can talk to your parents like an adult and calmly and respectfully say you’d really prefer that doesn’t happen again, then try that. Otherwise, wash your sheets and get on with your life.
Yeah OP is not the AH for this but the way they wrote this makes them sound like an entitled brat
Tbf, I haven’t met a single 16yo without some kind of an attitude. It’s not irrational, either, given the frustration of the situation
TIL I learned not wanting pee all over your mattress topper, bedding, etc…makes you an entitled brat, apparently.
How do you get piss out of a 3-inch-thick slab of foam?
NTA Why didn’t your dad offer his bed? Also your cousins should replace the bedding. Wtf, I have 3 kids and I’d rather do it on the floor than risking someone else’s bed!
I didn’t do changes on my own bed, wasn’t going to use someone else’s. I remember a couple times at people’s houses, they would put a towel down on the bed. I appreciated the offer but they had a perfectly good floor.
NTA, of course. Your parents shouldn’t have offered your bed for changing your cousin’s baby against your will.
However, I do wonder what went wrong there. It’s generally fine to changes babies on beds or sofas. Their parents usually put towels or portable changing pads unterneath. What’s wrong with your cousin?
Little babies also usually don’t pee a huge amount. Toddlers, on the other hand, don’t usually pee while changing at all.
Also kudos to you for being sixteen and being on reddit from age ten an a half apparently.
NTA.
While I get that baby pee isn’t a huge deal in itself, it’s not about the actual pee, it’s about his lack of boundaries for you. He could have offered his own bed.
NTA- People commenting “wash your sheets” are off base. I think it’s weird and super rude to change a baby on someone else’s bed (and also to offer up someone else’s bed,). When my friend was over and needed to change her baby, she did it on my bathroom floor. And then she took out my bathroom trash with the dirty diaper in it. I did not ask her to do so, but she didn’t want to stink up my trash.
Another time I visited a different friend at her mom’s house, and she changed her baby on a portable changing mat, also ON THE FLOOR. I think it’s courtesy to do this on an easy to wash surface when you’re a guest in someone’s home.
Did your cousin or your dad offer to clean up the pee? If not, that’s extra rude.
no neither did my cousin apologized and i said it was okay but that was as far as it went