I, 33F, have started my own business. We are primarily into design and animation. I wanted to onboard and partner with a few people who have strong design and animation skills.
I got in touch with a friend who is in her mid-40s. After a casual chat, I mentioned that I would like to have a more formal discussion virtually. She told me to “block her calendar” and sent me a link to book a date and time, which I promptly did.
Thirty minutes before the meeting, I got pulled into some pressing matters and realized I wouldn’t be able to make it to the meeting with my friend. I quickly, without wasting time, sent her a message saying, “Sorry, I got another call at 11.” By then, I had already opened her calendar app to rebook another slot, but nothing was free until the next week. So I sent her another message saying, “Your calendar is blocked till next week :(”
My friend got a bit ticked off and replied, “Which is why I schedule these things well in advance. Please give me more notice for cancellations. Or rather, schedule only if you are 100% sure you can make it.”
This pissed me off further since it wasn’t intentional. I tried my best to let her know as soon as I found out about the clash. I told her I would have appreciated it if the calendar app had also shown up in my calendar so that I could have been more prompt in my communication. To this, she replied, “Have the courtesy to at least apologize when you don’t show up. Don’t blame calendars and tech.”
I feel like this was unnecessarily blown out of proportion and didn’t have to be so bitter. So, am I the asshole?
Yta
YTA it was your mistake
YTA
YTA.
You chose when to book the call. It’s on you to manage your diary so you don’t double book/get into something more pressing. Not a good look when trying to get your business off the ground.
Also – most diary apps will send you a meeting invite to your email address with the meeting link on – or you can send natively from whatever calendar you use. Don’t blame the tech.
Obviously YTA, how can you not see that?
if you’re building a business, reliability is your brand. this was a tiny preview and it didn’t look great
YTA. You don’t say what the pressing matters were, but was it impossible to put them on hold until after the meeting? If the person you were meeting with wasn’t a friend, would you have put them off so casually? If you’re hoping to partner with someone, you absolutely have to show up when you said you were going to show up, because anything else is wasting their time. Saying that something else came up tells them that you believe that your time is more valuable than theirs and/or that you can’t manage your own business.
the calendar excuse was not it just say sorry and own it. it’s way cleaner
YTA. This was a business meeting with a potential partner. Not a lunch with a friend. Her time is valuable and you wasted it. I understand last minute emergencies, but was that pressing matter so time sensitive that it couldn’t wait an hour. If it was time sensitive, say that- apologize and accept responsibility for it. “I am sorry, I just got notified that I have a time sensitive emergency that requires my immediate attention. I don’t think I’ll be able to make our meeting at 11. I will reschedule at your earliest availability” or something like that. They way you phrased it implies you overbooked and don’t value what your friend can bring to your company. She’s right, accept the responsibility and don’t blame it on the calendar. Her calendar was supposed to remind you of your appointment? You chose the date and time, you can add it to your own calendar. Which your excuse just confirms you double booked and don’t care about your friends time.
YTA
What you did was tell this person “somebody more important came up so I’m dropping you”
You then went on to criticise the calendar app she uses.
You handled this terribly
YTA
You screwed up your scheduling, it is as simple as that.
She has every right to be annoyed, you cancelled a planned meeting at the last minute and then complained that she didn’t have availability – so you both wasted her time and then got annoyed that she was busy.
If you want to run a business, you need to figure out your scheduling better – giving yourself more time for meetings, setting strict end times so that you don’t over run into later meetings and so on…
Thirty minutes before the meeting, I got pulled into some pressing matters and realized:-
I would not be able to attend to these matters as I had a scheduled meeting
If you are trying to set up your own business during work time this will happen. You need to get better organised, also you had schedualed a meeting with a professional, and that needs to be at the forefront of your mind. It is very easy to get a poor repuatation
lol first of all that wasn’t you meeting a friend but it was a business meeting.
secondly you blamed her calendar app for not doing your due diligence and put the meeting in your own calendar
YTA. You messed up your scheduling and then whined about your own screw up to the person you disrespected. The calendar didn’t cause the problem, you did.