So for a bit of backstory. Im 20F when i was 18 i wasnt careful and i wasnt safe and i ended up pregnant, i had a job that gave a somewhat stable income and me and my partner made the decision to keep the child. I now have a beautiful 1 year old little boy. I wouldnt change my decision no matter if people think i made the wrong choice, i made my bed and i will lay in it.
However, 2 months ago i lost my job, they had some cut backs in staff and unfortunately i was let go, ive been trying to find another job since, however surviving off of 1 income currently, we are drowning. Some weeks we are having to choose between feeding our child and paying our electric bill.
I have a long distance friend who visits twice a year, i wouldnt say shes rich, but lets just say she has enough money in her account to buy 2 3 bedroom houses outright, no mortgage. Good for her, she worked hard.
She was due to visit this week, so 2 weeks ago i messaged her and said, “look im really sorry however i dont think im going to be able to house you, i can barely keep the lights on and feed 3 mouths, i cant feed another, can u either bring or buy ur own food, or can we reschedule”. She said she would buy her own food.
Fast forward to today, she has now gone home.. 3 days early, due to the fact that yesterday i was doing a food shop, i said she could either do her own seperated shop or she could send me the money and tell me what she wanted to order. She told me what she wanted and said she would pay me when her phone charged.. reasonable. So tell me why 3 hours has passed and ive brought it up again, but this time this girl kicks off like ive insulted her bloodline, saying im her friend and should be able to cover a simple food shop. This continues until she decides that im not worth her breath, she orders an uber back to london and leaves. So.. AITA?
NTA you made things clear when you were able to. She just likes getting treated and not paying. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be friends with her.
NTA
Your “friend” was being VERY SELFISH since she knows your current situation. A GOOD FRIEND would have food shopped for all of you and pay your electric bill, above all when she sure has the means
A BAD FRIEND says you “should be able to cover a simple food shop”. That was cruel
NTA. She knew your situation beforehand so she should have offered you money without you even asking. Hang in there.
NTA
You were clear to your friend that you were not in a good financial situation and it was affecting what you do and they pretty much ignored and downplayed it, making you feel like the bad guy.
NTA. I’m thinking that this girl, being your friend may have known you lost your job. She should have asked you if it was still a good idea to visit! Normal people would know the stress behind looking for work, while caring for a baby at the same time and that you may not be in the right frame of mind to be able to have a fun visit.
NTA your friend is a jerk trying to take food and support away from your child basically. Sign up for assistance right away, unemployment, food for the babies. I’m sure the UK has better social services than the US
Seriously, if I visited a good friend who let me know ahead of time that they are struggling with the basics and a baby, I would have shown up with bags of groceries, and some baby stuff too. That’s how real friends are, we give when needed.
That’s not a real friend.
You read my mind, I was thinking the exact same thing especially if I am so well off that I can buy houses. I would have spoiled my friend and her baby rotten and even would have given her some money as well for extra food and electricity.
I would immediately want to know how I could help. Any other response is unfathomable.
NTA
But now you know why she can afford to buy 2 houses.
NTA
Normally a host covers these things but you told her you could not do it.
A real friend would understand that you are having financial trouble and can’t afford to feed another person at this time. Instead, she took it as a personal insult.
NTA. You were very clear to her and she agreed to your terms. She’s just being selfish.
Forget about her and focus on your family. She can go away and sulk by herself.
NTA.
A friend would have fended for themselves. A good friend would have brought excessive amounts of food right to your kitchen…. This person isn’t worth the air they consume.
If you were my friend, I’d go food shopping with you…all on my cc
I’m disappointed in her petty, self-absorbed. She’ll be back you get back on your feet. “Once I Led the Life of a Millionaire”