I’m 19F and I recently started a new job.
There’s a coworker (mid 20sF) who’s been there longer. From day one, she keeps correcting me. Not in a helpful way. More like… publicly.
If I say something slightly wrong, she jumps in.
If I explain something to a customer, she interrupts and “re-explains” it.
Even when I’m right.
At first I ignored it because I’m new and I didn’t want drama.
But yesterday we had customers, and I was handling everything fine. A customer asked about a small detail, and I answered correctly.
She immediately cut me off and said, “No, that’s not how it works,” and gave the EXACT same explanation I just gave – just with different wording.
The customer looked confused.
So I said, calmly, “That’s actually what I just said.”
She went quiet. The customer awkwardly laughed.
Later she told me I embarrassed her and that I shouldn’t “undermine” coworkers in front of clients.
But… isn’t that what she’s been doing to me for weeks?
Now I’m wondering if I should’ve just stayed quiet again.
AITA?
NTA: That is in fact exactly what she’s been doing to you. I would try and chat with some of your other co-workers and ask if this is just a thing she does with newbies or let your supervisor know that she’s making you uncomfortable.
NTA, honestly keep doing that to her. Its honestly very entitled for her to do that and expect to be the “right one”.
No, you did a good thing to stand up for yourself. It sounds like you spoke calmly and just stated the truth and if your coworkers is embarrassed, it’s because she knows she was over reaching.
Hopefully that will just stop her doing it in the future. If it doesn’t, in a quiet moment, just mention to her that you’re not needing her to do that and you’d prefer it if she didn’t and if in future we f she notices you making any errors she can tell you afterwards such that you can have one on one relationships with customers.
NTA, tell her she just got a taste of her own medicine. If she is still hostile and keeps doing it, take it up with management. Because she’ll not only keep doing it, but if shit goes sideways from her wrong advice, she’ll throw you under the bus since it was your client.
Preventive measures.
If you stay quiet, she will keep doing it as long as you will tolerate it.
If she corrects you again publicly, I’d pull her off to the side and tell her what she told you: “if you don’t want me to correct (embarrass) you in front of others, please don’t do it to me.”
If she’s right, she can tell you, but not in front of the customers.
Tell your manager if she does it again. It’s not good for the business for her to keep undermining you, especially when you’re correct.
NTA, Leave a paper trail, make an official on paper complaint to your manager or HR. Go from there.
No, you should not have kept quiet. My current favorite piece of wisdom applies here: You get more of what you tolerate. If you keep quiet, she’ll keep doing it.
As for the embarrassment she felt at you ‘undermining’ her in front of clients – “If you don’t like it, then maybe stop doing it to me.”
NTA
I had a co-worker who would doubt my suggestion or my direction, and then would re-word what I said. I would kindly respond “I am glad you liked my suggestion/thought.” or “Thank you for agreeing with me.” Positive, but clearly indicating it had been my thought/suggestion.
The customer laughed because the customer has working ears. They heard you say X. They heard her say X. They realized she is useless. When she repeated you, she wasn’t explaining the product to the customer; she was explaining to the room that **she is insecure.** She needs to be the ‘Smart One’ so badly that she will hijack a conversation just to hear her own voice. You didn’t make her look stupid; you just turned on the lights so everyone could see she was already wearing the clown makeup.
I think you’re spot on. The behavior screams “insecure.” Maybe she realizes OP has considerable potential to advance before her, maybe she wants to “establish dominance,” and/or something else.
You did exactly the right thing. I learned this when I started working at your age, you have to confront the workplace bully or they will not stop. My guess is that it will be awkward for a day or two and she will back off you. Unless she needs to hear it a couple more times first! NTA
Edited for spelling
This is something for your employer to be made aware of. I’m sure they don’t wish their business to be so poorly represented in front of customers
“I thought you were helping me learn how things are done. I’m just following your example and doing what you are doing.”
NTA. Sometimes the only way to teach people to back tf off is the hard way.
What you did was not only ok but the right thing under the circumstances, since the customer was confused and you cleared that up. That said, I probably would have said it even if the customer wasn’t confused. I have a manager who talks (actually yells – she is so loud) over me as if I’m an idiot and it drives me up the wall.