My roommate (f 27) and I (f 31) moved in together 3 months ago. I have a dog who is pretty animal aggressive after he was attacked by two big dogs last year at our local park. I’ve been working with a trainer to fix this but it’s a slow process. My roommate was aware of this before we moved in together. We had a long conversation about it and how it would limit her ability to get a pet. We both agreed that if she wanted a pet we would sit down together and come up with a plan to ensure its safety & my dogs, speak with the trainer on how to desensitize my dog and slowly introduce them, etc. We both knew it would be a long process but we were both willing to do it when the time came.
When I got home from work yesterday she told me not to be mad. She said how there was a cat with 2 kittens at work. She volunteered to take the kittens and they were in her closet. I got angry and asked her why she’d do this without talking to me knowing my dogs aggressive history. She said she introduced them to my dog already and he was fine and I was overreacting; she led me upstairs where my dog was whining & scratching at her door to get into her room. She pulled the kittens out, and my dog instantly tried to bite them. She started screaming at him and put the kittens back. I started arguing with her that they can’t be here long term. We had agreed on a plan & she disrespected me & put all these animals in danger doing what she did. These kittens were also probably 4 weeks old and I told her they shouldn’t have been separated from the mom. I also said she had no right to introduce my dog to strange animals without me being there. He’s an older dog (10yr) with several health issues already and he’s MY dog. These kittens were covered in shit and random dumpster gunk…who knows what he might get. I should have a say in how/when he meets other animals.
She shut down and ignored me the rest of the day until she left for the evening; she asked me to feed the kittens dinner and walked out. I found them soaking wet in her closet with no blanket & shivering. That was my last straw. I cleaned them properly, dried them fully, and found a blanket for them to lay on. Within a few hours I had a friend (an experienced cat owner) lined up. I texted my roommate and explained everything and that I’m happy to find a way to get her a pet but this wasn’t the way to go about it. She agreed to rehome them after a few minutes of talking it over and offered to give the new owner the supplies she had already purchased. I didn’t know she had supplies and never asked her to do this. I also asked if she was sure as some of it could be saved for later.
She sent me a Venmo request this morning for $150 for the cat supplies we gave away. I was confused and she said if I was forcing her to give up the kittens the least I could do is pay her back for the supplies I took from her. I’m refusing to pay her anything, and right now we aren’t talking right now. Am I the asshole here?
NTA
Your roommate is incredibly inconsiderate, get a new one.
NTA. Sounds like your roommate went back on the arrangement that you two made and is upset that it didn’t go according to how they wanted it to go. You also don’t need to repay for the supplies, since she offered them up and confirmed she was okay with giving them away.
NTA your roommate did not care about your accommodations. I think she just wanted you to rehome the dog without saying that directly.
NTA
But you need a new roommate.
You are NTA
She agreed to give up the supplies for animals she brought into your shared home, so a Venmo request for them is especially ludicrous.
Every resident needs to be on board with bringing in more animals. She tried the “ask forgiveness” approach and it blew up in her face.
Rehome the roommate next.
NTA
To the bin with her.
First because she brought new pets in knowing how the dog would react.
And secondly for keeping the poor kittens in that state AND leaving them in the care of OP.
Yeah people like that make my blood boil. All animals involved deserve better and so does OP
Don’t pay her a dime. She basically tried to trick you by offering the supplies and then requesting on Venmo. You did right by the kittens and your dog, but your roommate is super irresponsible, and frankly, putting animals in danger with her reckless decisions. Can you get this person to move out? NTA.
“Hey don’t be mad but I did the opposite of everything we agreed on”. NTA
NTA. She offered the supplies without any mention of money. She also broke her agreement with you. She basically breach the contract and is trying to get you to pay damages. She made those purchases knowing full well that you did not agree to have a cat. She ran the risk that she would have to have them removed. This is an entirely foreseeable consequence from a legal standpoint.
NTA
The HELL to the NO should you pay her for the cat supplies! She took the cat and kittens in without asking while she knew about your dogs being aggressive and in training mode. She DID NOT CARE about your dogs. I suspect she’s hoping that one of your dogs would hurt the cat and forcing you to rehome your dogs, so that way she could keep the cats with her.
Rehome the poor cats since she clearly didn’t take a very good care of and tell her to move out ASAP. She is very neglectful, period.
ON EDIT: She can’t have any pet if she wants one while you’re still training your aggressive dogs. It’s wrong time.
If she wants a pet, tell her to move out and get one of her own.
NTA, what the hell is wrong with her. She knew right from the start the condition of your dog and how you guys would work something out together should she wanted a pet. Call me crazy but what she did to those poor kittens is cruel, leaving them wet and dirty in a closet, I nearly got a heart attack reading that since I am a cat parent, my cats live better then me 🤣 You made the right choice to find them a home. You don’t owe her any money, she owes you a very long apology for crossing that fine line you made so clear from the get go. Also if I were her I most definitely would refrain from getting a pet ever! The fact that she did that to those poor kittens is as good as animal abuse in my opinion.
NTA, your roommate is not the sort of person that should be anywhere near animals let alone in charge of vulnerable kittens.