My ex (22M) and I (21F) had a messy break up and ended on bad terms. His cousin (23M) (who is his best friend and goes nowhere without) seemed to hate me more than my ex. Let’s call the cousin Alphonso.
Alphonso works at the bar me and my friends frequent. We are in the same circles and we got to know my exes friends quite well. One of them, who was my exes flatmate, let’s call Ryder. One night Ryder was extremely drunk at the pub. Alphonso was with him, not working, and too very drunk. Ryder was so intoxicated we were worried he wouldn’t get home safely an Alphonso was going to leave without him. Myself and my flatmate (20F) made th decision to walk Ryder home as he (to our knowledge) lived across the road with my ex.
We walked him to the flat and as we were in the stairwell we double checked that they still lived there. Ryder then told us they had moved flats, to the other side of town. I ran back to the pub and told Alphonso to book him an uber. Alphonso started shouting at me to stay away from Ryder, that I wasn’t to be trusted, and that Ryder could make his own way home. I shouted back telling him that this had nothing to do with whether he liked me or not and that he just needed to get his friend home safe. He was refusing to help Ryder and was hurling abuse at my friend and I for being around him. It got very heated and it went back and forth until Alphonsos brother (20M) who also works in the pub, came out and shouted at his brother to go home. Am I the awhile for interfering with my exes friends, should I have just left him in order to not get involved?
lmao girl NTA wtf is Alphonso’s problem??? he’s drunk af, about to ditch his blackout wasted friend Ryder like “he’ll be fine then screams at u for walking him home and trying to get him safe?? then hurls abuse at u and ur flatmate just bc u dated his cousin once?? that’s unhinged petty energy. u did the decent thing most ppl would’ve left Ryder to stumble home and risk it.
shouting back? deserved. this wasn’t “interfering it was preventing a drunk guy from getting hurt or worse. Alphonso turned a safety issue into breakup beef.
advice: next time, if Ryder’s trashed and u see it, help quick (call uber, flag bar staff/security..) but don’t argue with Alphonso. say “someone get him home safe” and dip. or just avoid that bar if the vibes stay toxic.
u were kind despite the messy ex drama that’s mature. Alphonso’s the asshole here 100%. ignore his ass, keep ur peace, and don’t let his drama live rent free in ur head sis 🚩
Okay thanks 🥰 was just embarrassing to be shouted at in front of the bar I go to almost every weekend. Ryder is nice to me whenever I see him so the least he deserved was for me to get him home safe. Honestly, the dynamic between Alphonso and my ex is kinda weird and if you dint know thy were cousins you’d think Alphonso had a massive crush on him. He follows him around like a puppy.
omg girl NTA fr 😭 u were lowkey a hero walking ryder home while alphonso was ready to ditch his blackout friend like trash. he flipped out n screamed at u just bc ur ex’s ex?? that’s next level petty. n the way he’s always glued to ur ex… if they r cousins but who knws lmao puppy mode activated who knws
getting yelled at in ur fave bar is embarrassing af i feel u but u came off as the mature one tryna help. alphonso looked like the unhinged one. next time just flag bar staff or his bro quick n dip no arguing w drunk jealous boys. keep shining sis, don’t let his weird cousin vibes ruin ur nights u did good
NTA this made me CHUCKLE. Alphonso sounds like he needs to sort out his anger issues. I would advise you continue to interfere, maybe report this behaviour to his managers!!!
NTA.
You stepped in because someone was clearly too drunk to get home safely, not to involve yourself in your ex’s circle. Alphonso let his personal feelings override basic responsibility.
In the future, loop in bar staff or security and remove yourself, because safety matters but you do not need to stay and take abuse for it.
What do we think the chances are that Alphonso has the hots for OP and was in the ex’s ear intentionally trying to break them up?
Oh, man! I am afraid that it is time to find a new bar to hang out in. You are NTA, but running in to these people will continue to be a problem, especially if they are drunk.