(Throw away acct bc my mil follows my real one)
My husband and I (both 25) were visiting my MIL’s house for dinner this evening. After dinner, my husband offered to drive his youngest sister to a friend’s house so that MIL could stay home after cooking. While he was out, MIL, SIL and I sat around in the living room chatting.
SIL is preparing to move out on her own soon, and was asking about any easy to cook dinner recipes I had. One of the things I brought up was spaghetti. When I said that, MIL chuffed and asked if I only make that when DH is working late. I was confused and told her no. She said “well, he doesn’t like spaghetti. That’s why I asked.” Again, I was confused. I told her that he likes it now, enough to request that I make it decently often. To that, she said “is it maybe your favorite thing to make and he knows it? Is that why he asks?”
At this point I started to get a little annoyed, because I could feel it going in the direction that she isn’t a stranger to, which is the “I’ll always know more about my son than you” sort of thing. So, where I would usually just shrug and say idk to keep the peace, I decided I would push back this time. I told her that every time I make spaghetti, he polishes off over half of it that night, and left overs don’t last either. Then, MIL turned to SIL and said “you remember how much he hates spaghetti. He would practically gag over it.” To which SIL shrugged and said “maybe he changed his mind.” And MIL went on to say “no, I know him. He’s stubborn about tastes.”
So I asked MIL if she thought I was lying about him liking spaghetti, and she rolled her eyes and asked me if this was the hill I wanted to die on. To which, I said that she was welcome to ask him once he got back. She shook her head and told me there was no need for her to ask. That she knew her son and she would know the answer.
After that, conversation faded and we all sort of just got on our phones. Until, my husband walked back into the house, and the first thing I said was “hey babe, do you like spaghetti?” And of course, he said yes in a confused tone. I gestured my hand to him and looked at my MIL and said “see?” And she got up and said “I gotta do something” and went back to her room and did not come back out until we left.
On our way home, I explained the spaghetti thing to my husband, which he honestly did not care about. He’d just asked why I asked. But about an hour ago, MIL sent my husband a big text about how I was rude and telling her that he only likes my spaghetti because I’m a better cook than her (which I did not say.)
So, AITA for arguing it? Does it make me childish, even though I was a little fed up with the whole song and dance?
nta at all but mil has a problem
She has weird energy. It is gross that she has to be right like he is a child not a married man. At least he seemed to ignore her tantrum.
NTA. MIL is, though!
Keep standing up for yourself going forward, because she’ll never let up.
NTA, this wasn’t just about spaghetti, there was some competition there about something. If this is a common thing with the MIL, pick which hills you’re willing to die on, they won’t all turn out like this
Such a silly argument. No one doesn’t like spaghetti, it’s really just the vessel for the sauce, and obviously your sauce is different to hers.
NTA.
As you said, she wants to know him best, but she knew the past him, not the current him. People grow. She will have to deal.
One of my kids doesn’t like pasta (including spaghetti), regardless of sauce, except for Kraft Dinner, and I’m wondering if I should have her examined. Or maybe just locked up where she’ll no longer be a danger to herself or others.
Your MIL is a child. And she probably makes crap spaghetti. 🤣
NTA
This. I love chicken and dumplings in the winter,not so much in the summer, and I have several relatives who make shit dumplings and leave all the bones and bristle. Yuck.
I think you mean gristle. Bristle is found on brushes.
Apparently, it wasn’t even her spaghetti he didn’t like. My husband said it was his aunt’s spaghetti that he hated when he was little. From then on, his mom would repeat that he didn’t like spaghetti, so he just never ate it from anyone.
I guess his dislike for spaghetti never came up before I made it for him shortly after us moving in together, he ate it because he will at least try anything I make, and now he requests it lol.
Not sure why his mom was so on top of him disliking food someone else made, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand that lol.
Edit: typo fix
My MIL had a childhood reputation as a picky eater which she kept through university.
It turns out her mother was just a terrible cook.
Lol I accidentally outed my husband for not liking something his dad was making. My husband gently told me “I am sorry but it is actually your version I don’t like.” I went ohhhhh that checks out I always thought it was gross too. They all looked at me like wtf? Then remembered I would rather eat a jar of m&ms than real food at their house because I am too picky.
Ever had really shitty spaghetti? It fucking sucks.
Ever had really amazing spaghetti? Absolutely bangs.
She makes shitty spaghetti 😂
NTA.
You did exactly what I would’ve done. Sometimes, you just can’t take the endless BS, and you asked a simple clarifying question. Lulz.