Me 20f and my cousin 17f were never really that close growing up both her and her sister got into a lot of trouble and I didn’t wanna be around it even if we are “family” I’ve always known they had a hard time growing up their mom was super strict.
Around 1 month ago my cousin was kicked out and CPS was called my mom said she would stay with our close grandma for school and on weekends she could stay with us and I was fine with that because she was supposed to be sleeping in the living room.
Right off the bat she was getting into trouble she say she’s with a friend when really she was with an older dude from some random dating app and he home late but my mom always believed her when she made excuses.
One day my mom told her she could sleep in the room with me MIND you I share a room with my big sis 21f she’s not here right now she’s away for college but this is still her space too and I know my sister wouldn’t like her in her bed using her sheets and stuff cause we didn’t have extra.
Ever since she’s been in the room with me it’s been irritation she stays up all night talking to random dudes about things I haven’t even done yet! I’m talking GROWN and me personally I don’t wanna hear that she’s been sneaking out of grandmas house to have sex, smoke or drink
And she stays up till like 12 too and it’s hard for me to sleep with headphones on so I have no clue what to do I’ve already tried asking her to keep it down nicely.
Even though she comes home super late at like 5 in the morning my mom never seems to suspect anything if anything she forces me to stay up so I can make sure she gets home
And finally she leaves my bedroom door WIDE open all the time for 1 I sleep with no pants it’s been like this since I was a toddler and my parents don’t care but I still don’t like people seeing me in my underwear and then we have 2 cats as well
It’s my parents catsthey know I do not like cats and that I don’t want them in my room but yet she keeps letting them in and then whenever she asks why I like the door closed I say “cause I don’t want the cats in my room” then she’ll say some crap like “our room”
But it’s not “our” room it’s me and my sisters room and frankly I’m very tired of having to watch over her I’m going to talk to my mom about it and tell her about it and if she asks about what my cousins been doing I’m gonna tell her the whole thing “snitching” you could say WIBTAH or should I think on this more?
NTA. It’s a safety concern.
Nah nta she’s 17 not even an adult yet and she’s being inconsiderate I know ppl don’t like snitching but it gets to a point plus it’s about her safety too like what if something happened to her because of these men?? Nta definitely tell your grandma
NTA it sounds like she’s making ur life hell and u have every right not to put up with it. my cousin used to be like this I get it, it’s probably best if u just snitch so at least someone can hear u out and help change the situation
NTA, but I think when you talk to your mom you need to focus on how she is sneaking out to meet older men, lying about where she’s going, etc. instead of focusing on being annoyed about her leaving the bedroom door open and the annoyances of sharing a room. It’s a dangerous for a 17 year old to be meeting up with random men and lying about where she is.
Also she’s def lying about her age on these dating apps since you can’t be on them at 17. What if one of these guys find out and freaks out on her?
I wouldn’t assume she’s lying about her age. Probably on the app to have access, but who knows with the men. I was a very troubled girl with a very unstable home life as a teen. I had sex with a lot of people I shouldn’t have. Men 28-30. I told all of them my age and even said to the older ones, “I’m jail bait.” They didn’t care. Didn’t stop them. Ran into one years later on my birthday (my 21st). He did the math. I guess he thought at the time that I was trying to turn him on by saying I was 16 or 17. As far as I know he was the only one who thought I was lying by giving my age.
I’d definitely tell someone what she’s doing. It sounds like she needs counseling and stability.
Tough situation but safety should come first, don’t beat yourself up for that.
NTA. This person is taking liberties and actively lying to your mum, who has agreed to house her. There doesn’t seem to be an ounce of appreciation from her side.
NTA. Your mom is failing in her responsibility towards your cousin. It’s not your responsibility to wait up for her, it’s your mom’s, she invited the girl to stay so she’s responsible for her. Yes tell your mother what your cousin has been up to because at this point her behaviors are effecting you and her lack of respect for your privacy isn’t okay. It’s also not okay that she’s making you uncomfortable in your room.
Nta!
Give her a heads up that if she does not stop being an ah, you will tell mom. That way if you tell mom, it is on her. She could get hurt hooking up with random guys. NTA
She is still underage and if she goes missing how will your grandmother feel same as your mom??!!! It isn’t ratting on her , it’s called being a person who doesn’t want to see something happening to her ! And she has no right to be in your room if she can’t even keep the door closed. She thinks she can be sneaky and she really is a br*t . and get away with fooling all adults and has for too long . Talk to your mom and grandma. Someone needs to put a stop to this (like) yesterday .
NTAH
You shouldn’t have to be staying up waiting on her, she has a curfew, and it should be respected!!!! If she isn’t in by that time, the door is locked!!!! Why would she think that her being there on the weekends entitled her to the room that belongs to you and your older sister??? I would ask mom that if she insists on her being there on the weekends to PLEASE allow you to have your privacy and space. Not because you don’t want her in it but because she won’t respect your space or requests. When someone opens their home to you, the LEAST you can do is respect their rules and property. If mom won’t do that, I would make life MISERABLE in that bedroom lol!!! I’ve been right where you are and believe me……….when the tables turn, it gets their attention REAL quick 🤣🤣🤣🤣. When she finally gets done on the phone turn your key sounds on your phone on and start texting ( even if it’s random keystrokes, the goal is to annoy her and show her how it feels). Act like you’re making calls and have conversations about the most awkward, strange, gross things you can think of. Basically, what she’s been doing, give it back 10fold!!!! Sometimes that’s the only way to get through to people like this.
Good luck and I truly hope your Mom hears you and addresses the situation. I personally am petty and did the things I mentioned above, but DONT seriously expect you to as I was joking. It sometimes is the only way to get your point across and did work for me lol
You didn’t sign up to be a parole officer, a night watchman, and a cat bouncer all in one. Talk to your mom. It’s not ‘snitching,’ it’s returning the job description to management. If your cousin wants to live like she’s on a reality show, she can at least not film it in your bedroom
YWNBTA. Tell your parents. Everything. You will be helping your cousin by preventing her getting pregnant or raped or otherwise in trouble with older men. You will help yourself by being able to sleep through the night.