I live in a sober house in Boston and share a bedroom with another guy. Since I moved in my roommate plays video games all day from 11am to 11pm if not later. The most annoying part about this is that he constantly online playing and talking non-stop to the point I never get any quiet till he decides to go to bed. He doesn’t work and his mom pays his rent for being here. I really want to be to bring this up and ask if he can limit his time on live so O don’t have to listen to his personal conversations for 10 hours when I’m at home each day. However I don’t know if I’m being an asshole or self entitled in this situation as I’m living in group living. Or should I just talk to the house manager and see if I can switch rooms?
INFO
Have you talked to him? He may not know what he is doing is bothering you. Living in shared housing requires communication.
No tbh I haven’t. I’m not sure how to approach it without sounding judgmental or like an ahole or maybe it’s my lack of social skills:( Like what do I say? “Hey dude you being on your mic all day bothers me as it gives me no moment of peace” Idk how would you approach it?
That’s fine. “Hey man – I know you love gaming, but would you mind not being on comms all the time? Constant conversation makes it hard for me to relax.”
If he’s a reasonable guy, I bet he would work with you. You two might even find something to do together and build a friendship.
If you can’t come to an agreement, go ahead and request room assignment.
Ywbta as you wrote you haven’t spoken to him and expressed that you want some peace in your shared room.
You could have problems with the next roommate. Or are you going to try and get a single room idk how those homes work. You all have had worst trouble in your lives. Communication is important.
Eta fixed grammar some how autocorrect changed peace to piece. Weird.
Yea I know I hear the tv running in the other rooms all the time but that doesn’t bother me as much as hearing someone talk non stop all day, I’m not sure why.
However you are right I can’t be upset at him as he might not know it’s bothering him. I just hope I don’t come off as entitled when I speak to him. I also just moved in less then 2 weeks ago and he has been here since the beginning of the year so I don’t know if that also factors in to why I’m nervous to confront him.
NTA, check your rules for quiet hours. Figure out what you need to survive that’s still fair to him (like, no more than 3 hours of his yapping while you’re both in the room). Then talk to him about it. If he doesn’t agree or cooperate, get the RA or manager involved. It’s your space, too, and you deserve some peace. Some places require a roommate agreement just for situations like this.
NTA, he is very inconsiderate.
What’s the deal with not having to work at a sober house? From my experience working was part of the agreement to live there.
So long as you do not approach the guy in an aggressive manner, NTA. Presumably this is a human being with the power of reason: there is nothing wrong with asking him to keep his voice down during your sleeping time. Especially if by “sober house” you mean a place where folks are actively trying to maintain sobriety… although it’s rude either way. Roommate needs to respect your need for sleep as you presumably respect his!
And if one conversation with him does not suffice, I also think NTA for going to your residential manager to ask for intervention or a different roommate. Surely the building has quiet hours. He can play a different kind of video game if he wants to play late at night, but he has no right keeping you awake. Thumbs up guy
NTA for feeling frustrated, but I would talk to the house manager about the issue under the guise of “I’m having hard time sleeping due to his gaming schedule, could I switch rooms?” rather than an attack on your roommate. I feel this is a good way to maybe get a new room but, at the very least, inform the manager about the fact that he’s gaming nonstop. This sounds like addictive behavior and is probably not aligned with the goals of sober living.
NTA but as a compromise earplugs for part of the time might help. If that’s insufficient earbuds underneath more robust hearing protection could be a cheaper alternative to noise cancelling headphones.
Quiet hours may only be 10pm – 8am so for those times you can probably get someone to intervene, but it sounds like most of it is actually ‘allowed’. Hopefully he will understand if you mention it.
NTA for not wanting to put up with that all day every day. I would advise having a conversation with your roommate about the situation, as it sounds like you haven’t at this point. I think YWBTA if you tried to switch rooms without ever addressing this directly with your roommate. Part of early sobriety is learning how to navigate relationships in a healthier, more honest way than you likely have been. You could ask the house manager to help the two of you come to a compromise or to be present for the conversation if you feel like you need support.
NTA i would genuinely go insane
NTA. A shared space means you both have to be considerate.
If your relationship is relatively good, and you haven’t brought this up to him before, I’d try to work it out with him before involving the house manager.