I have a friend who gets really into various games that he plays. He ends up chatting a lot about them during discord voice hangouts while everyone is playing other games. I talk to him about them and watch his streams sometimes because I’m bored or want to know more about the game. There have been several instances of games where I say “oh that seems cool but I don’t have the time for it right now” or “that’s not really my style game”. However, a few times, he has gifted the games to me on steam (in what I see as a pretty blatant attempt to goad me into playing them with him). Out of politeness I end up playing the games for maybe 3-5 hours, usually one night, and then truly don’t have the urge to play them anymore, they’re just not my type of game. I have expressed that, and my friend thinks that if I just tried it that I would like it. I can tell that the fact that I don’t play games that he gifted me has made him upset because he says things like “this is why I don’t gift people things on steam anymore”, but I feel like it’s pretty pushy behavior and that I’ve expressed disinterest. It’s.not really my fault that he’s wasted his money in a sens but I also don’t feel like I owe people my time because they bought me a gift? Idk.
NTA
In the future if he sends you a game via steam just decline it.
NTA. 3-5 HOURS! I was gonna say 3-5 minutes you gave it enough time and if you don’t like it that is okay. But hours, yea that is preposterous, tell them to either join you in what you like to play or to stop gifting you stuff if they are going to get upset you don’t like it.
NTA
Stop accepting the gift games. They’ll keep the code and give it to someone else. If they ask, just gently remind them that you didn’t purchase the game yourself because it’s not your thing and you no longer want to take advantage of their generosity for something you wont play. Thank them politely but refuse firmly.
I like the polite turndown here of not taking advantage of the generosity
I was about to say the same here. NTA and if the friend is getting so upset about OP not playing the games they buy, then it’s better to just cut the problem off at the source.
NTA, but you should ask him not to buy you stuff anymore. Just kill the passive aggression at its source. Or maybe ask if he wants to play stuff together if it could be a game that you know you mutually enjoy instead of something new.
If he insists upon it be very honest about not wanting to play it or only giving it a shot once. It’s your prerogative where you spend your time but I can see where the hurt is coming from on his end.
NTA. I gift games to one of my friends regularly, and he’s generally a busy person. So I always make it clear to him (even when he expresses feeling guilty about it)…. they’re gifts and I don’t expect him to play them right away or even at all if it turns out he doesn’t like it. I’ve always felt horrible about the idea of putting obligations on my gifts… the way I see it, if you attach strings to a gift, then they’re no longer a gift.
Having said that, I’ll echo what a few other people have said: you can decline gifts and there is no consequence to the person who gave it besides maybe some hurt feelings for getting a gift kicked back, they get a full refund. You might also want to check if the two-hour playtime limit applies to gifts as well (not something I’ve ever looked into), because if does apply, then you can say you tried it, didn’t like it, and refunded it so they wouldn’t lose their money on something you knew you wouldn’t continue playing.
Edited to add: I have to give you props for trying the game at all tbph. You *are* giving them a fair chance to see if you change your mind, and you shouldn’t feel bad if it’s still not your thing after trying it. There’s a few games that I probably wouldn’t even give that much to.
“This is why I don’t gift people things on Steam”
They’re not gifts if they come with obligations. Sounds like they’re mad you can’t be manipulated.
NTA
I feel like he considers the fact that it’s a gift means that I’m obligated to play it for some amount of time. Like as in “it would be rude not to”
NTA at all lol
What someone chooses to spend on you doesn’t dictate what games you enjoy playing at the end of the day. You gave a few hours which is more than a fair chance.
This is super manipulative IMO. He KNOWS you had absolutely no intention of playing those games but HE wanted you to play them, so he spent money so you would feel guilty and do it anyways. I get the impression that if you had randomly turned out to like one of them, he’d have spent almost as much time annoyingly gloating about it as he has been annoyed that you did not. This is about his opinions on games being validated, it kinda doesn’t seem like it is even about you or your friendship.
If it were me and my friend, I would stop accepting the gifts and explain that you didn’t feel it was a good fit and wouldn’t want him to waste money on something you didn’t get full use out of. Steam has a wishlist feature for a reason and it’s super easy to use. Anyone who goes off script and actually knows how to use Steam (as he surely does) knows this and chose to give you a gift that serves HIM instead of a gift you actually said you wanted.
I have bought games for people for that exact reason before, but I also understand I am essentially betting money on my friend possibly enjoying the game I like with me. When you gamble, you can’t get mad when the odds don’t fall in your favor. It sounds like he understood this “transaction” (because that is what he has turned this gift giving process into, you receiving a free game from him and him receiving your time playing the game with him in return) more as a purchase than gambling. He doesn’t feel he got his money’s worth. So don’t accept it in the first place.
It’s naive to think that won’t cause issues or conflict though. More than likely, he won’t like that and might be offended that you refused a gift. Only you have the best idea of how he would react, but from the manipulative behavior, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is not the best response. If you choose to go this route, know it could cause issues in the friendship. Then again, so could accepting them and continuing not to play them a bunch.
NTA
Dedicating even 3-5 hours and volunteering pretty much the entirety of your free time for a night (assuming you have work/school and a reasonable bed time) is more than enough. That *is* you trying it. And even that you are not obligated to do if you’ve already expressed you aren’t interested.
Also, depending on the price of the game, he’s getting his “moneys worth” with 3-5 hours.
If that’s, lets say, a $20 game, that’s $4 an hour of play time if you play it for 5 hours. That’s way less than people usually spend to go out with their friends in drinks or food. If it’s actually about spending time with you and socializing through gaming then it’s just kind of the rub of things that you sometimes treat your friends and cover the activity for the night; especially if you’re the one picking the activity.
>“this is why I don’t gift people things on steam anymore”
That’s a him problem. It could very easily be solved by him asking if someone wants the game before they buy it and if he doesn’t get an enthusiastic and resounding “yes” with a specific plan of when they can play it together… don’t buy it.
NTA. I’ve bought some real shit games to play with friends, but I’ve never actually gifted one out of manipulation.
A couple of times it has worked out, but usually we drop the game