My, 32F, father had a birthday yesterday. On Saturday, myself and 10 of his friends surprised him by taking him out to dinner. We spent several hours at the restaurant and dinner was paid for by myself and my father’s friend’s, he did not pay for anything. After he said thank you and that this was a great gift getting to spend time with everyone. Today he texted me and asked me where his gift was. I was genuinely taken aback by this question. I thought that taking him to dinner with all his friends was the gift especially after he said how much he appreciated it and thanked me for it. I feel like he is behaving like a child who was given a day of fun at chuck e cheese and then asked there parents where the actual gift was. AITA for thinking that dinner with friends was enough of a gift and not buying him something else?
NTA. What is he, like 8?
NTA
“I gave you your gift early! Glad you enjoyed the dinner on Saturday night, dad. Happy birthday.”
Make him earn good boy stars for a gift
NTA. What adult asks for a gift? Jesus.
What PARENT asks for gifts from their child (adult or not)!?
Was going to say that but remembered my MIL ASKED her children for a mobile phone one year, and it had to be a good one, and then for a laptop, and then an iPad.
NTA. Does your dad care about the size of the gift? For some people it’s true they simply do want a gift. As a mom, I have worked with my boys to teach them to get me gifts for special occasions. But truly, anything, a scarf, some makeup, my son got me a little car trashcan- he was so excited he thought it was so useful. That made me happy. You did a really nice thing for your dad, you are NOT TA. Is your dad normally selfish? If not, I feel like you can just keep this info and plan accordingly. Good luck – what you did was really sweet!
You paying for the dinner as an experience was a gift. NTA calling to demand a tangible gift is ridiculous.
Your father is selfish. What you did was the gift. My father has never asked me for a gift. Im an adult and if my kids took my out to lunch, I would assume that was my gift. I dont even want gifts. Hes being ungrateful.
Did your father’s friends chip in for the dinner? Did they pay for themselves and you covered your dad? I mean if you and 4 of his friends covered his dinner you basically bought him 1/5 of a dinner. In some families that would be enough in other families that would be a nice gesture, now where’s my gift?
Does your dad buy you presents or does your Mom put his name on her gift?
Some family dynamics are needed to fully understand.
Clearly if you were surprised, you thought the gift was enough which means likely NTA.
NTA. “Dad, your dinner with friends was your gift.”
YTA
You’re 32 years old, and there were 11 people paying for his meal – 10 friends and yourself. How much did you spend on your dad???
Your reference to a kid at Chuck E Cheese. Yeah, we got our kid a present to go along with his birthday party. Most parents do buy a gift or more than one.
I wonder how much your dad has gifted you on your birthday. I could understand if he never got you presents, but paying 1/11th of his meal is just crazy. It’s also disrespectful in my book. It would be different if you were a kid, but you’re 32!!!
NTA,
Explain calmly to your dad if he continuous
Tell him how much you spent on his bday dinner and ask him if he expects a higher $$ next year… that should put him in his place, if not, no more bday gifts and take yourself out for a big fancy dinner next year in honor of his bday.
Jerkish reaction from your dad, seriously.