In December 2025, I and nearly 1,000 other employees got laid off from my employer of just over 1 year. While it wasn’t perfect, I was pretty happy there, had formed a good relationship with my manager, loved my coworkers, was able to WFH 2 days a week, got above average vacation of 3 weeks, and felt comfortable being openly queer.
This month, I noticed a very close friend’s employer listing a job posting while I was searching for jobs. In a bout of desperation after having been searching for 8 weeks with no offers, I reached out and asked if they could talk to the hiring manager or HR. My friend sent an email with my resume, and when the hiring manager called them and asked about me, they said that we were great friends and worked together on many projects in college. I started 1 week ago. The new job has some pros – it pays solidly more, is in a far more stable industry where layoffs aren’t even a question, and everyone has been very nice to me so far.
However, it requires being on site 5 days a week, gives 2 weeks of PTO (regardless of tenure or experience level), and isn’t an environment I’m comfortable being openly myself in. I’m also just not as passionate about it as I was my prior employer’s industry (though, one could argue that I haven’t quite given the new job a true chance yet).
My old employer has a position open for a different department, that theoretically I would have a very high shot of obtaining. If I got an offer, WIBTA if I left the job my friend help me get? I certainly would tell my friend first, express extreme gratitude to them and the hiring manager, and apologize for the mishandling.
NTA. Employment at will. Your will. Their will. Go for it. Let your friend know AFTER you get the new job.
ETA: But if the possible job doesn’t work out, you won’t be welcomed back at your current company.
You’re firmly in gray area. No, NTA if you take the job, but definitely putting your friend in a tough position after personally asking him to extend himself to his employer on your behalf. And you may lose the friendship. That’s just life. Good luck.
That makes OP an asshole here.
You’re asking about a hypothetical. You haven’t gotten an offer yet. I have some REALLY bad news about the job market right now… just because you think you’d be great for the position doesn’t mean that you’re more qualified than the 29474 people who will apply. The market is FLOODED with overqualified professionals desperate for work. I’m saying this as someone who was laid off at the same time as you, took a job making 25% of my former salary out of desperation.
YWBTA if you quit and didn’t have a guaranteed signed offer and start date.
YouWouldBeTheA. While Yes, you do need to look out for yourself and it is your livelihood that is always the priority. BUT, If your friend stuck his neck out to help you get employment, leaving so soon could reflect negatively on him. Not like a lose his job type of negative, but it is something that could impact him down the road. If they had known you might abandon the job after a week or 2, I doubt they would have hired you in the 1st place, and depending on the particulars of the company could be a costly decision to have done so.
If I was your friend I’d be very annoyed with you leaving after she vouched for you. And they will be if you do this.
You need to stay and give it a good chance before leaving something stable.
You shouldn’t have reached out to your friend, you should have just applied like everyone else.
People can say play the game , well, it’s also important to act with integrity.
I mean, if your previous company is so great, why aren’t they reaching out to laid off workers regarding their open positions?
You’d be burning a bridge for a company that seems like a bad bet.
Go apply to the job.
Jobs don’t always work out and you dont know until your feet hit the ground and you actually start working there. Not all jobs are a perfect fit. Im sure that this isnt the first time this employer has seen this.
Will it take a hit with your friendship? Possibly. Just explain to them why you applied to your old position and this job isnt the fit you thought it would be.
This company that you want to go back to has already shown you that the employees ( no matter how smart or skilled) are disposable and in large numbers. Why would you trust them? I know it can happen anywhere but that company already seems to be shrinking.
If you lose this hypothetical position at your old company and they cut staff again, your friend is not going to help you in any way. No recommendation, no reference, nothing.
Do nothing until you have an offer (which btw, they can retract before you even start).
Think really really hard about this decision. If the new company is reliable (no perfect promises), stay, learn and build more skills and people who will give you a reference.
You started 1 week ago? Give the job a chance, Christ. If it pays a lot more, you could probably buy extra annual leave. Your old company didn’t value you. YWBTA.
YWBTA – to your friend and to yourself.
You gotta take your rose colored glasses off – you might get the job but it won’t be the same scenario you were in. You will be on a different team without your prior relationships. You will likely be at high risk of layoff again because you’d be considered “new” by newest in/first out standards – and you admit it’s unstable. You need to take advantage of knowing this information and protecting yourself. It took 8 weeks and a friend’s help to find your job – you certainly won’t have that same friend’s help the next time this company lays you off and you’ll have a weird resume with multiple weeks out of work, a short span at this new job, and then back to the old company – it makes you look risky to hire! Plus, your friend may be negatively impacted as well – it may cause the company to not hire people he recommends and it may even cause them to question his judgment. I know people say “you need to do what’s best for you” but that’s an incredibly selfish way to go about life and friendships.
Look I get it – since 2020 I’ve worked either partly or fully remote and going back to 5 days in office a week would be rough, but I’d absolutely do it for the job security if I’d been laid off – and would not return to a Company that had laid me off. Take this time to gain more experience and make more connections. You can explore other options when the job market is better (and you may find out you end up liking this job more once you are used to it).
Yes YWBTA. Your friend put himself out there for you. You have to stay at least 1 year.
YTA for basically taking advantage of your friends with nature and help. Also, you would be the AH to yourself because going back to a company that already laid off a thousand workers is just a dumb move even if you are passionate about the work. Sometimes stability is more important than passion. Give the new job a real chance